what can you do with this?
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- Zacatac927
- Forum Addict
- Posts: 588
- Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2005 7:34 pm
what can you do with this?
ok well i had this wicked cool idea of a suspense story but had a brain fart and couldn't think... so i was thinking hey... turn this into a contest and have people write the rest of the script , then me and my people will decide which version we use... and then you'll get in the credits when people will see your name... ever heard of the Nantucket Film Festival (steve martin and tony shaloub always go to) we will enter it there and a few others...
so heres the beginning, you just try to finish it off... The basic story is a kid goes into a field that no one has teeaded in in 100 years and unearhs some evil (try to keep it on a low budget..... unless you know how we could do it in 3d)
SORRY THIS HAS NOT BEEN FULLY PROOFREAD!
EXT. FIELD DAY
very slow fade to open on a static shot of a field
HESSION
(narrating)
there is a field. that no one goes to, walks in, or looks at.
a field that no one thinks about, talks about, or writes about.
A field that no birds fly over no plants grow plentifully
for something was buried there.
(beat)
something that scared the elders
(beat)
something so evil nothing can see it.
(beat)
but no one had told me this story
(beat)
that is why i am no longer with you
TITLE AND CREDITS
EXT. HOUSE MORNING
HESSION is now introduced by walking around the house doing simple chores. his face s not yet shown but his walking style is clearly outlined as a small but muscular, built, kid.
HESSION
(narrating)
This story i am about to tell you was told to me after these incidents. even i cannot explain what has happened those few days.
HESSION drops what he is doing and begins to walk into the shaded forest. he continues on is a i-know-where-I'm-going manner when he is pulled into the forest by a dark, dirty hand.
UN-NAMED
what are you doing HESSION?
HESSION
Going for a walk
UN-NAMED
what business do you have walking though these woods?
HESSION
i want to hear the story
UN-NAMED
is that all?
HESSION
yes
UN-NAMED
no it is not, you lie deeply, if you were to hear the story you would have found me, you were not looking for me.
HESSION
i could not remember where you were!
UN-NAMED
you lie.
HESSION
(looks down)
yes i was in search of the field
UN-NAMED
DO NOT SAY THAT! that is a wicked place not to be thought about.
HESSION
sorry. but since i have come could you tell me the story?
UN-NAMED
as you wish, but i am growing to old to remember the exact details.
EXT. HOUSE DAY
cut to a small kid coming out of a small hole. he begins to look around but is suddenly scared an jumps back in
(narrating)
there is a field. that no one goes to, walks in, or looks at.
a field that no one thinks about, talks about, or writes about.
for something was buried there.
(beat)
something that scared the elders
(beat)
something so evil nothing can see it.
but when i was a child this field flourished with greens and flowers. they grew plentifully and were sold to many high kings and queens.
shows a dolly shot of many types of flowers and trees in the field
UN-NAMED
it was all flourishing until the Dark Day. This day began normal with foggy mist floating around but soon ended up with a dark shadow cast over everything.
shots of a mist floating on buildings and houses and people.
UN-NAMED
Something came out of that dark shadow
quick cuts of UN-NAMED as a child scared as a black shadow passes over him
UN-NAMED
this creature would haunt the
so heres the beginning, you just try to finish it off... The basic story is a kid goes into a field that no one has teeaded in in 100 years and unearhs some evil (try to keep it on a low budget..... unless you know how we could do it in 3d)
SORRY THIS HAS NOT BEEN FULLY PROOFREAD!
EXT. FIELD DAY
very slow fade to open on a static shot of a field
HESSION
(narrating)
there is a field. that no one goes to, walks in, or looks at.
a field that no one thinks about, talks about, or writes about.
A field that no birds fly over no plants grow plentifully
for something was buried there.
(beat)
something that scared the elders
(beat)
something so evil nothing can see it.
(beat)
but no one had told me this story
(beat)
that is why i am no longer with you
TITLE AND CREDITS
EXT. HOUSE MORNING
HESSION is now introduced by walking around the house doing simple chores. his face s not yet shown but his walking style is clearly outlined as a small but muscular, built, kid.
HESSION
(narrating)
This story i am about to tell you was told to me after these incidents. even i cannot explain what has happened those few days.
HESSION drops what he is doing and begins to walk into the shaded forest. he continues on is a i-know-where-I'm-going manner when he is pulled into the forest by a dark, dirty hand.
UN-NAMED
what are you doing HESSION?
HESSION
Going for a walk
UN-NAMED
what business do you have walking though these woods?
HESSION
i want to hear the story
UN-NAMED
is that all?
HESSION
yes
UN-NAMED
no it is not, you lie deeply, if you were to hear the story you would have found me, you were not looking for me.
HESSION
i could not remember where you were!
UN-NAMED
you lie.
HESSION
(looks down)
yes i was in search of the field
UN-NAMED
DO NOT SAY THAT! that is a wicked place not to be thought about.
HESSION
sorry. but since i have come could you tell me the story?
UN-NAMED
as you wish, but i am growing to old to remember the exact details.
EXT. HOUSE DAY
cut to a small kid coming out of a small hole. he begins to look around but is suddenly scared an jumps back in
(narrating)
there is a field. that no one goes to, walks in, or looks at.
a field that no one thinks about, talks about, or writes about.
for something was buried there.
(beat)
something that scared the elders
(beat)
something so evil nothing can see it.
but when i was a child this field flourished with greens and flowers. they grew plentifully and were sold to many high kings and queens.
shows a dolly shot of many types of flowers and trees in the field
UN-NAMED
it was all flourishing until the Dark Day. This day began normal with foggy mist floating around but soon ended up with a dark shadow cast over everything.
shots of a mist floating on buildings and houses and people.
UN-NAMED
Something came out of that dark shadow
quick cuts of UN-NAMED as a child scared as a black shadow passes over him
UN-NAMED
this creature would haunt the
RE: what can you do with this?
Can't think of anything. This kind of reminds me of the Village , must be the style of the dialouge.
- Zacatac927
- Forum Addict
- Posts: 588
- Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2005 7:34 pm
RE: what can you do with this?
actually im happy you said that... i wasn't thinking of the village but of M. Nights style.. i hadn't tried suspense or horror yet so i am making one.... hopefully not copying one of his stories oh btw Clarence we gotta meet up sometime...
im a Cape codder your a bostoner... only 70miles apart
im a Cape codder your a bostoner... only 70miles apart
RE: what can you do with this?
Yeh, I'll be in Cape Cod sometime this summer. (welfleet)
RE: what can you do with this?
The script so far is good, I would give it a go, but I really don't have anytime… oh well!
[url=http://tinite.com][img]http://onstoryline.com/Atinitefilmsstrip.gif[/img][/url]
RE: what can you do with this?
I'm between you guys.
- Zacatac927
- Forum Addict
- Posts: 588
- Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2005 7:34 pm
RE: what can you do with this?
hah... yah ook off topic but us MA filmmakers should meet up...
give me a email if your ever on the cape
or myspace
myspace.com/zacatac927
give me a email if your ever on the cape
or myspace
myspace.com/zacatac927
@Zacatac927
www.vimeo.com/zac927
www.vimeo.com/zac927
RE: what can you do with this?
How long do you intend it to be becose i liked it and i have some ideas
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- Zacatac927
- Forum Addict
- Posts: 588
- Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2005 7:34 pm
RE: what can you do with this?
thats good...
as long or short
i had a projection of 30-40 mins.
yes this is exactly what i wanted... people giving ideas..
yeah
as long or short
i had a projection of 30-40 mins.
yes this is exactly what i wanted... people giving ideas..
yeah
@Zacatac927
www.vimeo.com/zac927
www.vimeo.com/zac927
RE: what can you do with this?
Take out the part with the narrator being dead, and the grass has to be tall since nobody's been there for a while. Maybe have shot of the kid looking to the field many days before he actually gos there?
RE: what can you do with this?
Maybe have a close-up of the boy as and old man, at the beggining, but very close, so you can hardly tell who he is…
[url=http://tinite.com][img]http://onstoryline.com/Atinitefilmsstrip.gif[/img][/url]
RE: what can you do with this?
That'd be a good shot like have him then a quick cut to a very close closeup of his face, but why in the beginning?
- Zacatac927
- Forum Addict
- Posts: 588
- Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2005 7:34 pm
RE: what can you do with this?
wait make the old guy be the kid in some demension?
im likin this...
Djokicko as soon as you have any ideas let me know...
i got a few people around where i live workin on it too...
but i don't want ti to be a competition
im likin this...
Djokicko as soon as you have any ideas let me know...
i got a few people around where i live workin on it too...
but i don't want ti to be a competition
@Zacatac927
www.vimeo.com/zac927
www.vimeo.com/zac927
RE: what can you do with this?
OK here it goes just don’t butcher me people if you don’t like it
Ok my idea was something like this:
un-named tells the story to the HESSION kid about another little boy, but he is from a diffrent time period( I had in mind the time period from "the village").The little boy is very curios about what is going on and why is that dark shadow covering their town and way are there this mysterious murders. So he snoops around but the elder always try to keep it away from him, they are hiding something. As the story goes the little boy finds out that the elders actually killed a man a shaman or a wizard or something like that for some reason I still don’t way you can come up with that one : D.Ok and as they killed him he put a curse on them or something like that, that he will be back and the monster that does the killing is actually a manifestation of the shaman/wizard dude. At the end as the un-named finishes the story all the audients thinks that the un-named is that shaman/wizard but it is actually the HESSION kid ,see the shaman/wizard went throw reincarnation and went in the body of HESSION but he forgot who he was that way he was always curios about the filed and he was drawn to the fileds.Ok then he remembers and seas something cool like "Yes now I remember everything ahahah" but he’s voice changer to a monster like(lol:D) and does some hocus pocus stuff and kills the un-named then just goes off into the fields and disappears.
That is just the basic story you come up the details and I know it is like a mixture of The Village and Storm of the century but with the a little twist.
Well I hope you like it.Cheers:D
(Sorry for the bad english)
Ok my idea was something like this:
un-named tells the story to the HESSION kid about another little boy, but he is from a diffrent time period( I had in mind the time period from "the village").The little boy is very curios about what is going on and why is that dark shadow covering their town and way are there this mysterious murders. So he snoops around but the elder always try to keep it away from him, they are hiding something. As the story goes the little boy finds out that the elders actually killed a man a shaman or a wizard or something like that for some reason I still don’t way you can come up with that one : D.Ok and as they killed him he put a curse on them or something like that, that he will be back and the monster that does the killing is actually a manifestation of the shaman/wizard dude. At the end as the un-named finishes the story all the audients thinks that the un-named is that shaman/wizard but it is actually the HESSION kid ,see the shaman/wizard went throw reincarnation and went in the body of HESSION but he forgot who he was that way he was always curios about the filed and he was drawn to the fileds.Ok then he remembers and seas something cool like "Yes now I remember everything ahahah" but he’s voice changer to a monster like(lol:D) and does some hocus pocus stuff and kills the un-named then just goes off into the fields and disappears.
That is just the basic story you come up the details and I know it is like a mixture of The Village and Storm of the century but with the a little twist.
Well I hope you like it.Cheers:D
(Sorry for the bad english)
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- Zacatac927
- Forum Addict
- Posts: 588
- Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2005 7:34 pm
RE: what can you do with this?
hmmm... im liking it, except the bit of sorcery i want to keep this as much as possible to seem real, like i never want to see a close up of the monster stuff like that
but i like it, kinda creeps me out
but i like it, kinda creeps me out
@Zacatac927
www.vimeo.com/zac927
www.vimeo.com/zac927
RE: what can you do with this?
Yeah that sorcery was kinda like D&D lol .Maybe the elders can just kill him for some reason and then his anger,his grugde manifastaited the monster.
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