My World War Two scirpt (help me think up a name)
Moderators: Admin, Moderator Team
- Zacatac927
- Forum Addict
- Posts: 588
- Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2005 7:34 pm
My World War Two scirpt (help me think up a name)
This is my script hopefully filming in June/july
tell me what you think!!
and if you can think up a name !!!!!
Title/credits
ESTABLISHING SHOT: SLOW CRANE DOWN TO FIELD (credits)
JOHN HAMILL:
The year was 1945, and the World was at war.
FLASH TO SCENE OF BATTLE (with credits)
FIELD: AFTERNOON
RETURN TO FIELD SHOT
JOHN HAMILL NARRATING:
Many say that, we were fighting to keep Nazi Germany from taking over Europe. Others say that Roosevelt didn’t want to be left out of the war. But whatever the reason, every man, every boy...had one prayer: to make through alive, and return to their families.
JOHN HAMILL:
In April, the German army appointed a new general. A new, young fresh general, smart and strategic. So the U.S. Military sent four, specially trained men to penetrate enemy lines, and eliminate the new general. This is their story.
GENERAL’S OFFICE US MILITARY
CAMERA FOLLOW MESSENGER DOWN HALLWAY AND THROUGH DOOR WITH THESE WORDS: GENERAL’S OFFICE: US MILITARY
Messenger walks in
MESSENGER
General, (salute) we just received word from C. Seduosy.
GENERAL
Well?
MESSENGER
He reports that he has made it behind enemy lines without incident.
GENERAL
(Motions to map on wall) Show me
MESSENGER AND GENERAL WALK OVER TO MAP
MESSENGER
Well, his last location was right about here
CAMERA ZOOM ON PLACE WHERE MESSENGER IS POINTING
FIELD: EVENING
Fades to the field, long shot from a little below eye-level a C-47 flies over shaking its wings as the signal that all is O.K.
A slow montage of the crossing fields (long shots)
FARM: MORNING
JOHN HAMILL
My brother Mark and I joined the Army for the same reason many did: Glory and Adventure.
(Shot of John and mark working a field on a farm, they stop to watch an army truck rumble by, they both look at each other)
After all, anything was better than sweating on a farm.
FIELD: EVENING
SHOT OF DRAY
The third member of our little group was a boy named Robert Drake, but to us...he was known as “Drayâ€
tell me what you think!!
and if you can think up a name !!!!!
Title/credits
ESTABLISHING SHOT: SLOW CRANE DOWN TO FIELD (credits)
JOHN HAMILL:
The year was 1945, and the World was at war.
FLASH TO SCENE OF BATTLE (with credits)
FIELD: AFTERNOON
RETURN TO FIELD SHOT
JOHN HAMILL NARRATING:
Many say that, we were fighting to keep Nazi Germany from taking over Europe. Others say that Roosevelt didn’t want to be left out of the war. But whatever the reason, every man, every boy...had one prayer: to make through alive, and return to their families.
JOHN HAMILL:
In April, the German army appointed a new general. A new, young fresh general, smart and strategic. So the U.S. Military sent four, specially trained men to penetrate enemy lines, and eliminate the new general. This is their story.
GENERAL’S OFFICE US MILITARY
CAMERA FOLLOW MESSENGER DOWN HALLWAY AND THROUGH DOOR WITH THESE WORDS: GENERAL’S OFFICE: US MILITARY
Messenger walks in
MESSENGER
General, (salute) we just received word from C. Seduosy.
GENERAL
Well?
MESSENGER
He reports that he has made it behind enemy lines without incident.
GENERAL
(Motions to map on wall) Show me
MESSENGER AND GENERAL WALK OVER TO MAP
MESSENGER
Well, his last location was right about here
CAMERA ZOOM ON PLACE WHERE MESSENGER IS POINTING
FIELD: EVENING
Fades to the field, long shot from a little below eye-level a C-47 flies over shaking its wings as the signal that all is O.K.
A slow montage of the crossing fields (long shots)
FARM: MORNING
JOHN HAMILL
My brother Mark and I joined the Army for the same reason many did: Glory and Adventure.
(Shot of John and mark working a field on a farm, they stop to watch an army truck rumble by, they both look at each other)
After all, anything was better than sweating on a farm.
FIELD: EVENING
SHOT OF DRAY
The third member of our little group was a boy named Robert Drake, but to us...he was known as “Drayâ€
Last edited by Zacatac927 on Sun Apr 16, 2006 6:57 pm, edited 3 times in total.
-
- Forum Veteran
- Posts: 1479
- Joined: Sun Apr 18, 2004 5:12 am
- Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada
RE: My World War Two scirpt (help me think up a name)
Great short script. Screw any technical/factual errors, the pace carries well through out with a simple storyline wrapped up effectivley for a timely ending. I did notice a marked increase in errors as far as spelling and script structurewent as it progressed however, like you got carried up in the story and typed faster and faster (I'm guilty of the same thing, it's easy to carried away with a good story as it evolves). My only advice is to proof-read it another two times for compositional errors and any changes you feel are necessary, that and take your time shooting it. Done right with good locations you've got a real winner here.
Losing consciousness,
in the arms of an angel,
I find only peace.
in the arms of an angel,
I find only peace.
- Zacatac927
- Forum Addict
- Posts: 588
- Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2005 7:34 pm
RE: My World War Two scirpt (help me think up a name)
yah i know.... i saw the errors and i was bored so i didn't fix it
@Zacatac927
www.vimeo.com/zac927
www.vimeo.com/zac927
RE: My World War Two scirpt (help me think up a name)
call it War of the Worlds
RE: My World War Two scirpt (help me think up a name)
Thats been takin for a few decades lol. I thought it was pretty good. Maybe change some of the words in some of the lines to make them flow better. Dont want any lines that are too hard for the actors to read lol. I liked the idea tho! Keep it up! Oh and bout the title... cant think of one
Let god have mercy on my enemies... for i will not...
-
- Posting Freak
- Posts: 332
- Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2005 2:45 pm
- Location: Orkney
RE: My World War Two scirpt (help me think up a name)
Warring World
Conflict
World of Combat
Oppose
Conflict
World of Combat
Oppose
O. M. G.
Orkney Movie Group
www.orkneymoviegroup.co.uk
Orkney Movie Group
www.orkneymoviegroup.co.uk
Re: RE: My World War Two scirpt (help me think up a name)
LOL! I second that.naflish wrote:call it Yet Another War Movie
call it... Operation Battlefield
- Zacatac927
- Forum Addict
- Posts: 588
- Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2005 7:34 pm
RE: Re: RE: My World War Two scirpt (help me think up a name
any other titles?
@Zacatac927
www.vimeo.com/zac927
www.vimeo.com/zac927
- chrisgreen
- Posting Freak
- Posts: 218
- Joined: Thu Oct 09, 2003 2:15 pm
- Location: Bury St. edmunds
- Contact:
RE: Re: RE: My World War Two scirpt (help me think up a name
The cost of War
sorry, its lame i kno
sorry, its lame i kno
-
- Posting Freak
- Posts: 301
- Joined: Sun Apr 17, 2005 2:11 am
- Location: United States of America
RE: Re: RE: My World War Two scirpt (help me think up a name
Orders to Kill
No Matter the Cost
The Sad Assasin
Eh, mine are kinda lame, best i can think of for now.
As for the script, decent story, but a few character development flaws. John was crying his eyes out refusing to shoot, Sedousy says like 1 thing then hands him the rifle and then John is just, Sure Ok. Just a few instances like that, use your dialogue more. It seems as though you just padded in lines here and there to keep the story moving. Reveal more about some of your characters with the dialogue. But not too bad of a story though.
No Matter the Cost
The Sad Assasin
Eh, mine are kinda lame, best i can think of for now.
As for the script, decent story, but a few character development flaws. John was crying his eyes out refusing to shoot, Sedousy says like 1 thing then hands him the rifle and then John is just, Sure Ok. Just a few instances like that, use your dialogue more. It seems as though you just padded in lines here and there to keep the story moving. Reveal more about some of your characters with the dialogue. But not too bad of a story though.
"People can misinterpret almost anything so that it coincides with views they already hold. They take from art what they already believe."
-- Stanley Kubrick
-- Stanley Kubrick
- Zacatac927
- Forum Addict
- Posts: 588
- Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2005 7:34 pm
RE: Re: RE: My World War Two scirpt (help me think up a name
ok well i changed it but was too lazy to change it here but Mark dies... johns bro... so seduosy then asks him what would mark saynright now so then he does it
@Zacatac927
www.vimeo.com/zac927
www.vimeo.com/zac927
- Zacatac927
- Forum Addict
- Posts: 588
- Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2005 7:34 pm
RE: Re: RE: My World War Two scirpt (help me think up a name
ok ive updated it
@Zacatac927
www.vimeo.com/zac927
www.vimeo.com/zac927
-
- Posting Freak
- Posts: 332
- Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2005 2:45 pm
- Location: Orkney
RE: Re: RE: My World War Two scirpt (help me think up a name
War - What is it good for?
Absolutely Nothing
Say it again!
Absolutely Nothing
Say it again!
O. M. G.
Orkney Movie Group
www.orkneymoviegroup.co.uk
Orkney Movie Group
www.orkneymoviegroup.co.uk
- JackBauerII
- Senior Member
- Posts: 133
- Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 7:29 am
- Location: America, sweet America
- Contact:
- Bodysnatcher
- Posting Freak
- Posts: 206
- Joined: Fri Jan 13, 2006 10:43 pm
- Location: Munster, Germany
- Contact:
A click is a term used in the military to denote a Kilometer. there is confusion as some believe (wrongly) that it was a reference to weapons that when ranging onto an enemy target they would adjust the weapons sights by rotating a dial that would 'clik' when turned. (just thought I would throw that in).JackBauerII wrote:I think thatI think that 'clicks' is a term they invented in Vietnam. Nice story line though. Can't think of a title.
http://www.freewebs.com/bodysnatcher-productions
- Zacatac927
- Forum Addict
- Posts: 588
- Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2005 7:34 pm
Re: My World War Two scirpt (help me think up a name)
this annoyed me soooo much, please change it, the world was at war, thats why it was called world war 2, not american war 2Zacatac927 wrote: The year was 1945, and America was at war.
Our Combat Years: In production
[img]http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a69/ct_bullet/wolfvisionpbanner2.jpg[/img]
http://wolfvisionp.tripod.com
[img]http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a69/ct_bullet/wolfvisionpbanner2.jpg[/img]
http://wolfvisionp.tripod.com
- Zacatac927
- Forum Addict
- Posts: 588
- Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2005 7:34 pm
RE: Re: My World War Two scirpt (help me think up a name)
cr** i am so sorry..... my script organizer cannot change that and i always forget to change it in the post....
will do
will do
@Zacatac927
www.vimeo.com/zac927
www.vimeo.com/zac927
RE: Re: My World War Two scirpt (help me think up a name)
Names:
*Up in arms
*when called upon
*open war
*my comrades and i
*allied defence
*Up in arms
*when called upon
*open war
*my comrades and i
*allied defence
Our Combat Years: In production
[img]http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a69/ct_bullet/wolfvisionpbanner2.jpg[/img]
http://wolfvisionp.tripod.com
[img]http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a69/ct_bullet/wolfvisionpbanner2.jpg[/img]
http://wolfvisionp.tripod.com
- Zacatac927
- Forum Addict
- Posts: 588
- Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2005 7:34 pm
RE: Re: My World War Two scirpt (help me think up a name)
i like them..... but they sound not like my movie..... i have kinda come up with a title "the Last Shot"
yah tell me what you think.... cause it was the last shot in the war.....
yah tell me what you think.... cause it was the last shot in the war.....
@Zacatac927
www.vimeo.com/zac927
www.vimeo.com/zac927