I have written a script called 'White Knight Episode 1' which is a sci-fi series I plan to film. I need some constructive critisism before I make it, though...
"WHITE KNIGHT - S1E1 - INTERGALACTIC IMPACT
"
FADE IN:
EXT. SPACE. A METEOR IS APPROACHING THE EARTH.
(The speed of the meteor is so great that fire coats around it)
(CUE TITLE SEQUENCE)
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY. THE WHITE KNIGHT LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW AND SPOTS THE SPEEDING METEOR.
(The White Knight presses a button on his watch, which causes him to be encased in a strange blue orb. He fades away and so does the orb)
EXT. SPACE. THE BLUE ORB REAPPEARS AND THE WHITE KNIGHT IS IN IT. THE ORB DOESN'T DISAPPEAR. THE WHITE KNIGHT PRESSES A BUTTON ON HIS WATCH. THE ORB DISAPPEARS AND A TINY CAN THE SIZE OF A FIZZY DRINKS CAN WITH 'OXYGEN' ON IT APPEARS IN HIS HANDS. A STRAW COMING OUT OF THE CAN IS IN THE WHITE KNIGHT'S MOUTH.
WHITE KNIGHT
I'm glad that I am immune to the effects of not wearing a spacesuit due to my super powers. Right, so what's up with that meteor thingy? Will it narrowly miss Earth like the rest of them?
(pause)
WHITE KNIGHT
I know…I'll get my Video Prediction System…
(An orb appears. It has a device like a Portable DVD player in it. The orb disappears and the White Knight picks the device up)
(The White Knight unfolds the device and presses some buttons on it)
(The screen shows the meteor and the Earth on it. The meteor shoots towards the Earth and hits it. The Earth explodes)
WHITE KNIGHT
Oh, no! I can't let that happen!
(The White Knight, the device and the can get propelled forwards and land on the meteor)
WHITE KNIGHT
Right…How am I going to sort this little issue out, then?
(pause)
WHITE KNIGHT
I…Think that I ought to go back to Earth…I've got an idea…
(The orb re-appears around the White Knight and he disappears)
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY. THE ORB REAPPEARS WITH THE WHITE KNIGHT IN IT. THE ORB THEN DISAPPEARS, BUT THE WHITE KNIGHT REMAINS.
(The White Knight runs out of the living room and into the kitchen. He roots through a drawer, eventually pulling out a key)
WHITE KNIGHT
Here it is! My explosive key!
(The kitchen starts shaking)
EXT. TOWN - DAY. THE METEOR (NEARLY THE SIZE OF THE EARTH) IS APPROACHING THE TOWN.
INT. KITCHEN - DAY. THE ORB REAPPEARS AND THE WHITE KNIGHT DISAPPEARS.
EXT. SPACE. THE WHITE KNIGHT ONCE AGAIN REAPPEARS, FLOATING IN SPACE WITH THE CAN AND STRAW NEXT TO HIM.
(The Earth explodes)
WHITE KNIGHT
Oh, no! I'm too late! Or am I? Hmm…
(pause)
WHITE KNIGHT
Got it!
(The orb reappears and disappears)
INT. TIME VORTEX. THE WHITE KNIGHT IS 'SWIMMING' DOWN THE VORTEX. THERE ARE VARIOUS CLOCKS ON THE VORTEX 'WALLS'.
WHITE KNIGHT
Here we go!
(The White Knight hits a picture on the wall that says '5 minutes ago' on it)
(The White Knight disappears)
EXT. SPACE. A SUBTITLE READING '10 MINUTES AGO' APPEARS. THE WHITE KNIGHT AND THE CAN AND STRAW APPEAR.
WHITE KNIGHT
Let's show that meteor whose boss!
(The White Knight 'swims' towards the meteor)
(The White Knight lands on the meteor, places the explosive key on its surface and 'swims' away)
WHITE KNIGHT
Activate the explosive key!
(The explosive key detonates, blowing the meteor to smithereens)
WHITE KNIGHT
Man, I hope I get that key back…
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY. A SUBTITLE READING '1 WEEK LATER' APPEARS. THE WHITE KNIGHT IS WATCHING TV.
TV
(V.O.) A local man was baffled today as a flying key hit him on the head. He claims that the key 'fell out of the sky'. Also, a meteorite shower will take place tonight at 2100 hours. SC, the Space Company, claim that the meteorites were once part of a large meteor the size of the Earth.
WHITE KNIGHT
(laughs) And to think I caused all of that…
THE END
Do you reckon I should go more into the background of the White Knight? Should I explain how he obtained his powers? Most importantly, do you think it is scientifically accurate?
White Knight
Moderators: Admin, Moderator Team
White Knight
'Allo! It's me, The Head!
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RE: White Knight
erm, weird ears, have i seen you before on brickfilms.com?
but still, i reckon thats pretty groovy. i dont think you'd need to go into his background though, the audience will just have to accept him for what he is! you could think about that later in an episode later on...But erm, if the white knight isnt already just thinking those lines, i'd do a voice over for him,(you know as thought) he might look a bit strange. but other than that, the scripts really good!
but still, i reckon thats pretty groovy. i dont think you'd need to go into his background though, the audience will just have to accept him for what he is! you could think about that later in an episode later on...But erm, if the white knight isnt already just thinking those lines, i'd do a voice over for him,(you know as thought) he might look a bit strange. but other than that, the scripts really good!
Q1: No, not very often...
Q2: Dunno yet...
Q3: Quite possibly...
Here's Episode 2:
"WHITE KNIGHT - S1E2 - PAPERY PANDEMONIUM
"
FADE IN:
EXT. SPACE. A STRANGE POD IS FLYING TOWARDS THE EARTH.
EXT. FIELD - DAY. THE POD LANDS IN THE FIELD, LEAVING A LARGE CRATER.
(The door to the pod opens and loads of really thin creatures [called Starinites] slide out. They are shaped like rounded stars and have lasers at each point [apart from the bottom two points]. They also have big staring eyes that don't blink and large mouths)
(The Starinites lean forward so far that they nearly disappear altogether)
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY. THE WHITE KNIGHT IS READING A NEWSPAPER ON THE SOFA.
(About 5 Starinites slide through the crack under the door)
(CUE TITLE SEQUENCE)
WHITE KNIGHT
Oh, great…Just when I was trying to relax, there's an alien invasion…(sighs) What do you want?
A STARINITE
Conditions on our home planet have become unstable…We had to search for a new planet to live on…This one you call 'Earth' is perfect, but the billions of creatures you call 'humans' are taking up a lot of space…In other words, this planet can't fit both Starinites and Humans on it, so we will have to eliminate all Humans!
WHITE KNIGHT
And just how are you going to do that?
(The Starinite sends a laser beam out of one of the lasers and it hits a large pouffe. The pouffe disintegrates)
WHITE KNIGHT
Ah…
A STARINITE
I'll start with you!
(The White Knight runs out of the Living Room and into the kitchen. He returns with a dinner tray)
(The White Knight holds the dinner tray up like a shield, covering his body)
(The Starinite fires a laser beam at the dinner tray. It disintegrates)
WHITE KNIGHT
(grits teeth and breathes in heavily) Didn't think that'd work…
A STARINITE
And now for your untimely demise!
(The Starinite fires laser beams from the different points towards the White Knight. Each time, the White Knight ducks or dives away)
WHITE KNIGHT
I know…I'll use my explosive ke…
(pause)
WHITE KNIGHT
Oh, yeah, I used it on that meteor…
A STARINITE
Ready to die?
WHITE KNIGHT
Wait a sec…
(The White Knight presses a button on his watch. An orb appears around the White Knight and he disappears, as does the orb)
EXT. HOUSE - DAY. THE WHITE KNIGHT APPEARS, AS DOES THE ORB. THE ORB THEN DISAPPEARS. THERE ARE DISTANT SOUNDS OF SCREAMING AND LASERS.
WHITE KNIGHT
That should stop them from killing me for about…
(Looks at watch)
WHITE KNIGHT
2 minutes or so…
(3 Starinites slide down the road)
WHITE KNIGHT
Ah, nuts!
A STARINITE
Human detected. Destroy!
WHITE KNIGHT
No you don't!
(The White Knight picks up the paper-thin Starinite and simply tears it in half like paper)
(The White Knight allows the pieces to fall to the floor)
WHITE KNIGHT
One down…About 50 or so more to go!
(beat)
WHITE KNIGHT
I think I've got a way to speed up the process…
(The orb appears again. The White Knight and the orb disappear)
EXT. DRIVEWAY - DAY. THE WHITE KNIGHT STICKS A SIGN ON THE WALL OF HIS HOUSE SAYING 'FREE STARINITE GRUB' ON IT WITH AN ARROW POINTING TO HIS GARDEN.
EXT. HOUSE - DAY. THERE ARE SPARKS FLYING FROM HIS GARDEN. SOUNDS OF DRILLS, CIRCULAR SAWS AND HAMMERS ARE AUDIBLE.
EXT. GARDEN - DAY. A GIANT PAPER SHREDDER IS STANDING TALL IN THE GARDEN. THE WHITE KNIGHT IS STANDING NEXT TO IT.
(Loads of Starinites slide into the garden)
(The White Knight picks up Starinite after Starinite and throws them into the paper shredder)
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY. THE WHITE KNIGHT IS WATCHING TV. A SUBTITLE SAYING '3 DAYS LATER' IS VISIBLE. OUT OF THE WINDOW, THE PAPER SHREDDER IS NO LONGER VISIBLE.
TV
(V.O.) The World's largest paper shredder has been discovered in a local dump. The dump owner doesn't know how it got there, as he doesn't remember letting anyone into the dump over the past 2 days with a giant paper shredder…
WHITE KNIGHT
(laughs subtly)
THE END
Q2: Dunno yet...
Q3: Quite possibly...
Here's Episode 2:
"WHITE KNIGHT - S1E2 - PAPERY PANDEMONIUM
"
FADE IN:
EXT. SPACE. A STRANGE POD IS FLYING TOWARDS THE EARTH.
EXT. FIELD - DAY. THE POD LANDS IN THE FIELD, LEAVING A LARGE CRATER.
(The door to the pod opens and loads of really thin creatures [called Starinites] slide out. They are shaped like rounded stars and have lasers at each point [apart from the bottom two points]. They also have big staring eyes that don't blink and large mouths)
(The Starinites lean forward so far that they nearly disappear altogether)
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY. THE WHITE KNIGHT IS READING A NEWSPAPER ON THE SOFA.
(About 5 Starinites slide through the crack under the door)
(CUE TITLE SEQUENCE)
WHITE KNIGHT
Oh, great…Just when I was trying to relax, there's an alien invasion…(sighs) What do you want?
A STARINITE
Conditions on our home planet have become unstable…We had to search for a new planet to live on…This one you call 'Earth' is perfect, but the billions of creatures you call 'humans' are taking up a lot of space…In other words, this planet can't fit both Starinites and Humans on it, so we will have to eliminate all Humans!
WHITE KNIGHT
And just how are you going to do that?
(The Starinite sends a laser beam out of one of the lasers and it hits a large pouffe. The pouffe disintegrates)
WHITE KNIGHT
Ah…
A STARINITE
I'll start with you!
(The White Knight runs out of the Living Room and into the kitchen. He returns with a dinner tray)
(The White Knight holds the dinner tray up like a shield, covering his body)
(The Starinite fires a laser beam at the dinner tray. It disintegrates)
WHITE KNIGHT
(grits teeth and breathes in heavily) Didn't think that'd work…
A STARINITE
And now for your untimely demise!
(The Starinite fires laser beams from the different points towards the White Knight. Each time, the White Knight ducks or dives away)
WHITE KNIGHT
I know…I'll use my explosive ke…
(pause)
WHITE KNIGHT
Oh, yeah, I used it on that meteor…
A STARINITE
Ready to die?
WHITE KNIGHT
Wait a sec…
(The White Knight presses a button on his watch. An orb appears around the White Knight and he disappears, as does the orb)
EXT. HOUSE - DAY. THE WHITE KNIGHT APPEARS, AS DOES THE ORB. THE ORB THEN DISAPPEARS. THERE ARE DISTANT SOUNDS OF SCREAMING AND LASERS.
WHITE KNIGHT
That should stop them from killing me for about…
(Looks at watch)
WHITE KNIGHT
2 minutes or so…
(3 Starinites slide down the road)
WHITE KNIGHT
Ah, nuts!
A STARINITE
Human detected. Destroy!
WHITE KNIGHT
No you don't!
(The White Knight picks up the paper-thin Starinite and simply tears it in half like paper)
(The White Knight allows the pieces to fall to the floor)
WHITE KNIGHT
One down…About 50 or so more to go!
(beat)
WHITE KNIGHT
I think I've got a way to speed up the process…
(The orb appears again. The White Knight and the orb disappear)
EXT. DRIVEWAY - DAY. THE WHITE KNIGHT STICKS A SIGN ON THE WALL OF HIS HOUSE SAYING 'FREE STARINITE GRUB' ON IT WITH AN ARROW POINTING TO HIS GARDEN.
EXT. HOUSE - DAY. THERE ARE SPARKS FLYING FROM HIS GARDEN. SOUNDS OF DRILLS, CIRCULAR SAWS AND HAMMERS ARE AUDIBLE.
EXT. GARDEN - DAY. A GIANT PAPER SHREDDER IS STANDING TALL IN THE GARDEN. THE WHITE KNIGHT IS STANDING NEXT TO IT.
(Loads of Starinites slide into the garden)
(The White Knight picks up Starinite after Starinite and throws them into the paper shredder)
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY. THE WHITE KNIGHT IS WATCHING TV. A SUBTITLE SAYING '3 DAYS LATER' IS VISIBLE. OUT OF THE WINDOW, THE PAPER SHREDDER IS NO LONGER VISIBLE.
TV
(V.O.) The World's largest paper shredder has been discovered in a local dump. The dump owner doesn't know how it got there, as he doesn't remember letting anyone into the dump over the past 2 days with a giant paper shredder…
WHITE KNIGHT
(laughs subtly)
THE END
'Allo! It's me, The Head!
PLEASE RATE MY AVATAR!
PLEASE RATE MY AVATAR!
that was well good! great! oh, i can't wait to see it! erm, just one question, i remember reading somewhere that 1 page of script = 1 minute of film, i just need to know the specifications that makes this work...font size, font, spaces....thanks! But hey, that script is excellent, i read quite fast, how long will it be?
(I too am trying to make a series about a kind of superhero that is based on some comics i drew a while ago. Again, two actors, me being one of them!)
(I too am trying to make a series about a kind of superhero that is based on some comics i drew a while ago. Again, two actors, me being one of them!)