'Well that was a boring war!'

[Jasonrocks]

I'm making a new film, a comedy about ww1. Its about life in the trench. The cast include Captain George. A man who cares about only himself. Derek a lowly private and finally a medic who si a bit 'poofy' and goes by the name of ......medic.

The film will be a while yet so here are some oof the quotes from the film Enjoy.

(DEREK IS TAKING ABOUT HOW GEORGE LOOKS LIKE MEDIC.)

GEORGE: Me and medic look as simaler as a elephant and a flea.
DEREK: But you do.
GEORGE: And you look like the contents of my hanky after I've wiped my nose but yet I dont sqwak about it all day.

(GEORGE AND DEREK ARE IN AN EMPTY TRENCH)

DEREK: The trench is empty.
GEORGE: A lot like your head.

(THE GANG ARE TAKING ABOUT HWO TO TELL IF SOMEBODY IS A GERMAN SPY)

DEREK: I know, ask them there name. And if they have 'von' in there name. There german.

MEDIC: What if they dont have 'von' in there name?

DEREK: Ask them if they like sausages.

( MEDIC ENETRS THE TRENCH.)

MEDIC: Sorry I'm late, mon cap-e-tan!

GEORGE: I'm sorry your here.

[UFProductions]

I like it, nay, I love it! Lets see a full script, this looks like a very promising project.

[Jasonrocks]

OK I'lle give you a scene from the film where the gang are trying to overcome bordem. Not going to give the whole script away go early.

( THE GANG ARE IN THE TRENCH.)

MEDIC: Are you bored, captain?

GEORGE: Well lets say if boredom was an olympic sport. I'd be a multi gold medalist, a hall of fame inducte and have my own line of cheap tastless cereals.

MEDIC: Oh well dont worry. The wars almost over, alll the papers are saying it is.

GEORGE: No george. MY retarted friend. That is propaganda. Look at it, its pure bull, its as beliveable as guy fawke's defence lawyer.

MEDIC: But the war may nearly be over, we will destroy berlin and give mr. kaiser bill a good wolap. Old british stick of meat. A true bulldog we brits are.

GEORGE: Medic. Has your brain broke again?

(DEREK ENTERS.)

DEREK: Hello cap'an, hello medic. Cap I got a note for you from HQ.

(GEORGE READS THE LETTER.)

MEDIC: Whos it from?

GEORGE: If you must know, it was kaiser bill wanting me to have tea and cookies abord his battle ship 'big bertha' and then take a stroll through no mans land.

DEREK:Really?

GEORGE: No. HQ. Probally another chance to get filled with bullets by germans. I wount be long. You two will get on fine. No brain and slow brain will go together like glue and paper.

END OF SCENE

[UFProductions]

With the right deadpan delivery, and some effort in the setting and costumes, this will be fantastic.

[Almondo99]

Good idea blending comedy and war! The script is very well though out.

[Radiate]

Its pretty funny! Is there going to be a lot of gore?

[Jasonrocks]

not much gore it in really. More of a comedy, not saving private ryan.

[Jass Films]

Good idea blending comedy and war! The script is very well though out.

Yeah.. has never been done before. *cough* Dads Army *cough* MASH *cough* and the other hundred that are out there.

Never the less, give it a go. Hope to see the final product.

[DaveP]

Cough*blackadder goes forth*cough

Ive gotta say, it does sound alot like BGF in places..... but hey, itus good.

Pull it off.... and I would watch it and laugh

Good comedy (like funny laughing at the jokes, ect.) is one of the hardest amatuer film subjects... that and love. Good luck

[Jasonrocks]

I've not seen blackadder goes fourth just blackadder 2.

[chewie]

I'd make it a more serious type of movie People would like it more. It does sound funny thogh

[DarkElastic]

Before going any further I would watch Blackadder goes forth. Your Captain has the same personality as Blackadder. But, the Blackadder seasons were never long enough, so I would enjoy something on those lines.

Blackadder III, Duel and Duality

Blackadder : An unwise action, Baldrick, since Mad McAdder is a homicidal maniac.
Baldrick : My mother told me to stand up to homicidal maniacs.
Blackadder : Yes. If this is the same mother who confidently claimed that you were a tall handsome stallion of a man, I should treat her opinions with extreme caution.
Baldrick : I love my mum.
Blackadder : And I love chops and sauce but I don't seek their advice.

***

Prince George : No wait Blackadder. Perhaps this disgusting degraded creature is some sort of blessing in disguise.
Blackadder : Well if he is it's a very good disguise.
Prince George : After all did not our Lord send a lowly earthworm to comfort Moses in his torment?
Blackadder : No.
Prince George : Well it's the sort of thing he might have done.

***

"Baldrick, your brain is like the four headed, man-eating haddock fish beast of Aberdeen"
"In what way? "
"It doesn't exist "

***

Captain Darling: I'm as British as Queen Victoria!

Blackadder: So your father's German, you're half German and you married a German?

***

Blackadder: Right Baldrick, let's try again. This is called adding. If I have two beans and then I add two more beans, what do I have?

Baldrick: Some beans.

Blackadder: Yes...and no. Let's try again, shall we? I have two beans, then I add to more beans what does that make?

Baldrick: A very small casserole.

Blackadder: Baldrick, the ape creature of the Indus have mastered this. Now, try again. One, two, three, four! So how many are there?

Baldrick: Three

Blackadder: What.

Baldrick: (Pointing to one) And that one.

Blackadder: (Picking it up) Three and that one. So if I add that one to the three what will I have?

Baldrick: Ah! Some beans.

Blackadder: Yes. To you Baldrick, the rennaissance was just something that happened to other people, wasn't it?

[DarkElastic]

You can get all the Blackadder scripts from here:

http://humour.50megs.com/blackadder/blackadd.html

[El Brenty]

I think they should have made a sci-fi Blackadder.