The Enemy Within

[maj_barnes]

Here's a script I finished for a WWII movie I'm making, I just want some tips and suggestion for it; and the german speaking part, I don't know what it means its what the german in BoB episode III Carentan said in the same situation. The entire movie will be in total black and white (no disaturation like BoB), one part will be in color and that's the ending (you'll know it when you read it, it's like Schindler's List). Also this is my first time publisting a script on the web, I'm used to getting striaght to the point and handing to actors, so I really don't know the format. The dialogue seems a little mechanic but I will have the actors say it however they want to say it. There are miss spelled words, I didn't bother fixing them because the context they are used in you know what the word is. And the names, I just thought them up on the fly. The profanity blocker stops some of the dialogue so you guys may have to think, sorry.

The Enemy Within

By: Michael Barnes

[Five Americans walking along railroad tracks; they are in a straight line in-between the two

rails. One holds a Thompson, another a Springfield (or any other bolt action rifle), another a

Garand, and two more a Carbine.]

Pvt. Tompkins

“So where are we heading to exactly?â€

[maj_barnes]

Glad to see everyones feed back!

[DarkElastic]

I liked it. There are a few scenes similar to 'Saving Private Ryan', like, him dragging the shattered corpse before he notices, and the shot through the scope of the sniper rifle. But, other than that the story is good. There are two discrepancies that I read:

Someone says 'Smoke those sucker.' I'm not sure they would have said that back then.

When the house explodes in the trees, Patricks says 'I think they saw us.' That is very obvious, and would expect someone to say something sarcastic to him. It does not need that statement, may be just 'sh!t'.

[maj_barnes]

The resons why I wanted to use those two scenes from SPR is that I wanted to try out some new entrail make up designs and the sniper thing because I finished up some animations of that. Somke those suckers, I've been meaning to change that as well, that seems to be just a filler at the moment; buyt I would be glad to accept any suggestions for this! When he says I think they saw us, I just wanted something funny to liven up all of this death and killing. Thanks for the imput, it really helps!

[Adam]

Generally pretty good. Concrened how you are going to achieve some of the shots without alot of CGI.

[quote]
“Rineheart, you and Patricks move along the right side of these tracks and get next to that gun

crew; me and Tompkins will provide suppressing fire. I’ll see if we can get an air strike, I

thought I heard some Mustangs around here.â€

[maj_barnes]

Yea, I planned on doing alot of shots with CGI, my teacher thinks it's really cool, so I thought to impress him. And the air strike thing, how else could I do it? Without him radioing it in?

[DarkElastic]

I do think it will be good, but I do feel the CGI, and other effects needed will make the budget really high, and will take a lot of time to get right.

[maj_barnes]

I've been playing around, like just filming me running around in my backyard and adding in tanks and planes shooting at me, takes about an hour to get it right! And I just filmed about 40 seconds from scene 2 and I can already give it a R rating for intense and graphic scenes of realism and language.

[mercenary123]

I only read part of it, sounds really kool!

[maj_barnes]

Thanks, I'm adding a little to it though.

[maj_barnes]

Okay, I bought a M-1 Carbine magazine ($21.00, HOLY cr**! that's alot), and the guy ringing me up starts talking to me about what guns he has like how he has a M-1 Carbine himself and has two Kar 98's (ones longer than the other, because one's older than one, I don't quite remember), anyways: he says that he has all this gear like boot leggings and helments and says he will lone me all this stuff for the movie, so that really helps me; HOORAY!

[maj_barnes]

I just finished some test footage of a tank firing and a mortor strike in my backyard, I know it looks a little bad but I was using Elements and I cant stand it!
Tank Test

[UFProductions]

Why was it out of focus? The explosions looked good, but just use a one or two frame flash for the tank firing, that was the only thing that was just TOO fake looking, he rest was good.

[maj_barnes]

It was out of focus because I just ran outside before it got dark and took a picture with a camera. Thanks, I'll make sure to fix the tank fire.

[mercenary123]

Damn good smoke, how'd ya do it??

[maj_barnes]

The smoke for the tank I used Adobe Photoshop, and used the spraypaint tool (with the fog setting) and did a little bit saved, spray a little bit saved, and continued until I felt I had enough. Then put it together in Adobe Animationshop at 10 frames a second, then put it in Windows Movie Maker and saved it as a AVI file with a tank fire sound. The rest of the smoke and stuff from the explosions was from Det. Films.

[I3lade203]

It'll work if you can pull off the actors , props, costumes, and sets. Good luck.

[maj_barnes]

Actors are still beging casted, only two more. Props are set except for the Mg-42 (the person making it got it taken away by a police officer). Costumes are set. And the set is always there, because it's near my backyard. I'll try to post some pictures soon.

[maj_barnes]

Here are some pictures of the place I will be filming (AKA: The Set). I only got a few because it got dark pretty fast.

The tank scene will take place here. To the left side in the woods is the treehouse.

The treehouse being blown up, and to the upper left leads to the railroad.

Here's the railroad, it's about 225 meters before you get to the spot where Kowaliski gets shot.

To the bottom left, is where the sqaud gets pinned down (it's about a three foot slope before it levels. And where the large bush is: about 12 feet back is where the Mg-42 is.

This is to the right of the tracks, and further down the tracks (behind the pinned downed squad) the brush goes away and it's a nice plain then it leads up to some woods.

And of course an aundance of dead wildlife, next time I'll post the possum that was torn in half by the train .

[tallman_house_pictures]

OMFG that last quote made me laugh my a** off. (lmfao)

Do you already have these weapons and tanks that are going to be in the movie. An when will you be filming it?

Looks great. Im not that far yet but it looks really cool. Anyways, bedtime.

[maj_barnes]

I do have some of the weapons:

Okay, I bought a M-1 Carbine magazine ($21.00, HOLY cr**! that's alot), and the guy ringing me up starts talking to me about what guns he has like how he has a M-1 Carbine himself and has two Kar 98's (ones longer than the other, because one's older than one, I don't quite remember), anyways: he says that he has all this gear like boot leggings and helments and says he will lone me all this stuff for the movie, so that really helps me; HOORAY!

But since the Mg-42 was taken by the police, I have to make a new one; and the BB gun we're using for the Thompson we still need to find a way to put a clip in (I have to make one of those too, a Thompson 30 round mag is $39.99). The tank is a digital one, it will look better than the one in the test, and I have about fifteen different views of it. So I WILL NOT be having any real tanks in my backyard, it's against the neighbor hood charter to have any vehicle over ten tons. We start filming after Spring Break (Late March). I'll try to get more pictures up, and I'm sure you guys want to see that possum .

[tallman_house_pictures]

LOL.
Just the way you said it made it sooo funny.

Major, start a thread in the general film or stunts and visual effects thread for your movie, that way more ppl will post on it.

How old are you??

[justin!butcher]

Okay, farther up on this thread, someone said that a airstrike in WWII wasnt realistic?! I have pictures of airstrikes in normandy...
they would have been able to call them in.
its ok the way you had it.

[maj_barnes]

Okay I'll start a new thread with this cr**; and it's glad to hear that seeing innocent animals being ran over by the train is funny. Also If it is realistic to have them call in the airstrike then I will keep it, thanks. And I'm 16.

[tallman_house_pictures]

lol...its the way you said it that was pi** funny.

Yeah, they would have had airstrikes. I'd think they were rarely calle din by GI's themselves, and usually just Jabos flying around lookinfor convoys. Mabye you could find a coulored smoke grenade and use it to call it in cause I know they did that.

I'm 13 believe it or not.