City Ransom Movie Teaser (trailer)

ipon70 · Post by **ipon70** » Sat Nov 27, 2004 7:11 pm

Just wanted to get some feedback on it, since this is my first movie I have ever made, so go easy

The original movie was written by me, but then a few friends of mine and myself rewrote it to fit within atomfilms parameters for a movie short. We are looking at it running around 25-35 minutes by the time its done.

The one part which is really hard to see on this condensed version is when the guy shoots; there is a kid in the background. The movie will tell the rest.

BTW--- This is a strong PG-13 movie, so if you are young you probably shouldn't watch.

Approx 17 megs City Ransom

KayBeck · Post by **KayBeck** » Sun Nov 28, 2004 12:53 am

Sounds like you've got an interesting story. My biggest suggestion would be to maximize coverage. Don't just stick to doing master shots. Shoot close ups. Shoot inserts of action. Shoot different angles.

ipon70 · Post by **ipon70** » Sun Nov 28, 2004 1:33 am

KayBeck, thanks for the feedback.

Can you give me a specific example: Like in this "scene" I would have shot it from "?"...Something like that.

KayBeck · Post by **KayBeck** » Sun Nov 28, 2004 9:24 pm

Sure.

- While the guy 1 is telling guy 2 how he met guy 3, there's the establishing shot of the two sitting in the back of the truck. Go to a close up of guy 1, got to a close up of guy two's reaction as he listens. Do a close up of guy 2 asking about planning another job without him.

- guy three showing up in his car. Get a shot of the car as it's driving up the path, while G1 and G2 are talking as a voiceover.

- G3 greets the other two; G3 has his back turned to the camera. Get a close up of him when he's speaking. Switch to an angle where G1 is facing the camera when G1 breaks up the two as they are bickering.

- get an establishing shot of the kid so we can see that he's there.

- G2 says "oh don't need him, let's go.". His back is to the camera when he speaks, so any other angle but that will do.

- G2 says "You earn that, and that's the only way" and nudgers G3 with his hand. Get a tighter shot of G2 & G3 during this scene.

- when G2 tells G3 to off the kid, get an establishing shot of the kid. Get a shot so that we can see G3 pulling the slingshot out of his pocket. Get a close up of him as he pulls back on the slingshot, a shot of the kid getting hit and starting to fall, then back to the guys as we see the kid hit the ground.

That's it in a nutshell. A few other things I'd like to add:

- any time someone speaks with their back to the camera, change the angle so that they're face is visible to the camera.

- any scene where the sun is at their backs, it makes the actor's faces look dark. You can purchase a collapsable reflector like this one http://www.adorama.com/JTFR42GS.html?si ... 3410121723 at any photography store worth it's salt, or you can use anything with a reflective metal surface. I've seen people use lids from an aluminum cooking pot. I myself use a piece of galvanized steel cut into a circle.

- shooting a lot of different angles takes time, something that is precious when people have other things to do and if you have a limited time shooting outdoors while the light is optimal. Always storyboard your scenes, and make a shot list to maximize the time that you have available.

I hope you found this helpful.

BrownCowStudios · Post by **BrownCowStudios** » Mon Nov 29, 2004 2:09 am

If you're going to be shooting in more bright sunny conditions like that, I'd suggest that you invest in a Neutral Density (ND) filter, and perhaps a butterfly. This will help to get a better image when shooting under such harsh conditions. Though, even with these, the conditions are still very unforgiving.

ipon70 · Post by **ipon70** » Mon Nov 29, 2004 6:39 am

Kaybeck,

Thanks for all the good ideas, man I ask...and you gave it. Thanks a lot.
Although on some points I guess I would disagree a little (very little), I love all of your suggestions and will take them to heart. Thank you very much.

BrownCow,

Thanks for the idea on the filter, I have a UV filter on the camera, but not a ND, I will have to look into that.

Thanks again to all for the input.

ipon70 · Post by **ipon70** » Wed Dec 01, 2004 4:08 pm

Anyone else have any comments or anything??

JK90 · Post by **JK90** » Thu Mar 24, 2005 10:25 pm

Yeah it was the best thing I'd seen on here so far but Im new so I haven't seen much else. The acting held up well throughout and it didn't look fake at any point. I've got one question thogh. How did that gut kill a kid with a catault from so far away? That was the only thing I felt was unrealistic.

Mr.Tom · Post by **Mr.Tom** » Thu Mar 24, 2005 11:35 pm

Nice, the actings pretty good and the storyline's very original. but i thought that the whole catapult thing was a tad farfetched aswell. i guess the guy is just a really good shot. overall though it was pretty good

ipon70 · Post by **ipon70** » Fri Mar 25, 2005 12:27 am

Yeah that scene was to set the tone for him being this "great" shot. Very very far fetched but that was the funny part of it, is that he takes out a kid at such a far distance, not only takes him out...kills him...lol... Thanks for the feedback

Spike_P_2 · Post by **Spike_P_2** » Fri Mar 25, 2005 12:42 am

i liked it jpon, that was pretty cool. which one were you in the skit?

ipon70 · Post by **ipon70** » Fri Mar 25, 2005 11:57 pm

I'm not in the movie, its all other people.

Meade87 · Post by **Meade87** » Wed Mar 30, 2005 5:08 am

I agree with KayBeck on the whole, but sorry I don't think the story is very itneresting. No offense but as some constructive criticism the story wasn't thought out and it is flawed. The ransom concept is over the top, for one if someone were to hold a city ransom like that it wouldn't work. To threaten to tear the city apart is silly. However, kudos on the slight save. The fact that you made him a good shot saved it slightly because that is something you could hold a city ransom for better. Think about how crazed people became in washington d.c. with the sniper. However, then you killed it with making him a was it a slingshot? That was unbelievably far-fetched and silly. And these decisions are okay to make, but you really must ask yourself why are you doing it? Are you doing it just to be different, just to be funny, or witty. Well if so those are the wrong reasons. If you want it to be a comedy than make it a comedy if you want it to be an action/comedy than make it that. When you try to be funny, your not, again no personal offense. Also, someone said the acting was good,... whoever did is on crack. Tell them to take lessons if they are serious about being actors, if their friends, than get real actors. Their are plenty of actors you can get that will work for free. People who want to build a resume and haven't done anything. They will do it, I have had actors do it for me. Their is something called, being in the momeny, and they weren't. As the director it is your job to direct the actors. Not to have a pretty picture, and not be thing about pretty sound effects. The actors is a directors top priority. If you want to deal with the other aspects of the look of the film than become a cinematographer (thats their job). Remember your place. And if your going to do both, than do both don't neglect one. They were also unrealistic and were obviously acting. And to give you some credit compared to others on this site this is better than many and has great potential. The storyline needs to be tweaked, and you are lacking one thing....
A story....
-work on it.

...Also when the three men are standing in the center frame, and the two guys that are opposed to each other I will guess Guy 2 and Guy 3 are standing directly in from of them and the other guy is standing in the middle. Here's some advice. Make them cheat to the camera. Have guy 2 and guy 3 stand at a 45 degree angle with Guy1 in the middle. so that everyone is completly visible and it looks nicer. Also cuting works, so show characters faces when they speak, unless their is a reason not to. In the begining when guy2 was speaking their was no reason.
---Finally.
When he is shooting the kid, the kid was so far away I could barely see, I honestly didn't know he hit anything. So when you do that after he releases, in the over the shoulder shot, quickly focus in on the kid in the same shot so he is completly visible to us. Maybe even do a slight zoom. And if you do a focus and zoom at the same time real fast that may even add to the big distance and add an impact to the over film. Then the audience will get the impact more. Don't show it on Guy1's face as much, and make us feel it as well, with him.

---Hope I was help...Goodluck...You should work on this...and make it longer and make a full story...that wasnt a story.

-Rob

ipon70 · Post by **ipon70** » Tue Apr 12, 2005 3:38 pm

Meade87 wrote:I agree with KayBeck on the whole, but sorry I don't think the story is very itneresting. No offense but as some constructive criticism the story wasn't thought out and it is flawed. The ransom concept is over the top, for one if someone were to hold a city ransom like that it wouldn't work. To threaten to tear the city apart is silly. However, kudos on the slight save. The fact that you made him a good shot saved it slightly because that is something you could hold a city ransom for better. Think about how crazed people became in washington d.c. with the sniper. However, then you killed it with making him a was it a slingshot? That was unbelievably far-fetched and silly. And these decisions are okay to make, but you really must ask yourself why are you doing it? Are you doing it just to be different, just to be funny, or witty. Well if so those are the wrong reasons. If you want it to be a comedy than make it a comedy if you want it to be an action/comedy than make it that. When you try to be funny, your not, again no personal offense. Also, someone said the acting was good,... whoever did is on crack. Tell them to take lessons if they are serious about being actors, if their friends, than get real actors. Their are plenty of actors you can get that will work for free. People who want to build a resume and haven't done anything. They will do it, I have had actors do it for me. Their is something called, being in the momeny, and they weren't. As the director it is your job to direct the actors. Not to have a pretty picture, and not be thing about pretty sound effects. The actors is a directors top priority. If you want to deal with the other aspects of the look of the film than become a cinematographer (thats their job). Remember your place. And if your going to do both, than do both don't neglect one. They were also unrealistic and were obviously acting. And to give you some credit compared to others on this site this is better than many and has great potential. The storyline needs to be tweaked, and you are lacking one thing....
A story....
-work on it.

...Also when the three men are standing in the center frame, and the two guys that are opposed to each other I will guess Guy 2 and Guy 3 are standing directly in from of them and the other guy is standing in the middle. Here's some advice. Make them cheat to the camera. Have guy 2 and guy 3 stand at a 45 degree angle with Guy1 in the middle. so that everyone is completly visible and it looks nicer. Also cuting works, so show characters faces when they speak, unless their is a reason not to. In the begining when guy2 was speaking their was no reason.
---Finally.
When he is shooting the kid, the kid was so far away I could barely see, I honestly didn't know he hit anything. So when you do that after he releases, in the over the shoulder shot, quickly focus in on the kid in the same shot so he is completly visible to us. Maybe even do a slight zoom. And if you do a focus and zoom at the same time real fast that may even add to the big distance and add an impact to the over film. Then the audience will get the impact more. Don't show it on Guy1's face as much, and make us feel it as well, with him.

---Hope I was help...Goodluck...You should work on this...and make it longer and make a full story...that wasnt a story.

-Rob

Well thanks for all your thoughts.
This wasn't "the story" it was actually the opening scene of the movie. We have a complete story that we are still filming. I am going to put together an official trailer when we are just about done, which should be in the next few weeks.
On the acting, I guess we all have opinions on that. But we have got more then a 90% positive on the acting, so I guess I can live with it. I mean Ben Affleck and Keanu Reeves are actors, but IMO can't act to save their lives.
Over the top, yes. The fact that the guys are serious about actually holding the City Ransom with slingshots is what is so funny about it, they are serious and think it will work. And as you see this isn't the first time they have had a dumb idea. On the kid shot, on a larger render he is very visible, this wasn't made to be on a 256K download, it was made to be on a larger screen. I wish in hindsight I had got another shot of that whole scene, but time, people, you know. I couldn't actually show the guy with the sling shot pulling back because the day we were shooting, he couldn't actually do it right. He was in physical therapy for something that was wrong with his hand and he couldn't hold the strap back, so he was hooking it with his finger. So I got kind of hosed on that shot, but made the best of it.

I guess humour, drama, action again are very subjective, but thanks for your thoughts and let me know what you think when you see the final movie.