I read this on the internet, and I believe this to be an absolutley true and un-prank phone call to a computer tech support company.
Technical Support Call Transcript
Customer: "I got this problem. You people sent me this install disk, and now my A: drive won't work."
Tech Support: "Your A drive won't work?"
Customer: "That's what I said. You sent me a bad disk, it got stuck in my drive, now it won't work at all."
Tech Support: "Did it not install properly? What kind of error messages did you get?"
Customer: "I didn't get any error message. The disk got stuck in the drive and wouldn't come out. So I got these pliers and tried to get it out. That didn't work either."
Tech Support: "You did what sir?"
Customer: "I got these pliers, and tried to get the disk out, but it wouldn't budge. I just ended up cracking the plastic stuff a bit."
Tech Support: "I don't understand sir, did you push the eject button?"
Customer: "No, so then I got a stick of butter and melted it and used a turkey baster and put the butter in the drive, around the disk, and that got it loose. Then I used the pliers and it came out fine. I can't believe you would send me a disk that was broken and defective."
Tech Support: "Let me get this clear. You put melted butter in your A: drive and used pliers to pull the disk out?"
At this point, I put the call on the speaker phone and motioned at the other techs to listen in.
Tech Support: "Just so I am absolutely clear on this, can you repeat what you just said?"
Customer: "I said I put butter in my A: drive to get your crappy disk out, then I had to use pliers to pull it out."
Tech Support: "Did you push that little button that was sticking out when the disk was in the drive, you know, the thing called the disk eject button?"
Silence.
Tech Support: "Sir?"
Customer: "Yes."
Tech Support: "Sir, did you push the eject button?"
Customer: "No, but you people are going to fix my computer, or I am going to sue you for breaking my computer!"
Tech Support: "Let me get this straight. You are going to sue our company because you put the disk in the A: drive, didn't follow the instructions we sent you, didn't actually seek professional advice, didn't consult your user's manual on how to use your computer properly, instead proceeding to pour butter into the drive and physically rip the disk out?"
Customer: "Ummmm."
Tech Support: "Do you really think you stand a chance, since we do record every call and have it on tape?"
Customer: (now rather humbled) "But you're supposed to help!"
Tech Support: "I am sorry sir, but there is nothing we can do for you. Have a nice day."
You know what scares the hell out of me? That man is probably out driving tonight!
Officer: You were going 100 down residential!
Customer: When I took my foot off the accelerator, the car didn't stop! I thought it was stuck, so I just stomped it down to free it!
Funny Tech Support phone call
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2nd_Recon
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Funny Tech Support phone call
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You only need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You only need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
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wildabeast009
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No thats not real. I don't want to rain on your parade, but I have seen several same situation phone calls in different places. Funny though.
You know what's a fun game? Take 3 Excedrin PM's and see if you can whack off before you fall asleep. You always win, that's the best part about the game. -Cal, [i]The 40 Year Old Virgin[/i]
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2nd_Recon
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Try this one...
"Actual" dialog of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee:
TECH: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
CUST: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
TECH: "What sort of trouble?"
CUST: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went
away."
TECH: "Went away?"
CUST: "They disappeared."
TECH: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
CUST: "Nothing."
TECH: "Nothing?"
CUST: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
TECH: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
CUST: "How do I tell?"
TECH: "Can you see the "C" prompt on the screen?"
CUST: "What's a sea-prompt?"
TECH: "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
CUST: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I
type."
TECH: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
CUST: "What's a monitor?"
TECH: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it
have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
CUST: "I don't know."
TECH: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power
cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
CUST: "...Yes, I think so."
TECH: "Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into
the wall."
CUST: "...Yes, it is."
TECH: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
CUST: "No."
TECH: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the
other cable."
CUST: "...Okay, here it is."
TECH: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back
of your computer."
CUST: "I can't reach."
TECH: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
CUST: "No."
TECH: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
CUST: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's
dark."
TECH: "Dark?"
CUST: "Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in
from the window."
TECH: "Well, turn on the office light then."
CUST: "I can't."
TECH: "No? Why not?"
CUST: "Because there's a power outage."
TECH: "A power... a power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do
you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came
in?"
CUST: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
TECH: "Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like
it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
CUST: "Really? Is it that bad?"
TECH: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
CUST: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
TECH: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
"Actual" dialog of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee:
TECH: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
CUST: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
TECH: "What sort of trouble?"
CUST: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went
away."
TECH: "Went away?"
CUST: "They disappeared."
TECH: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
CUST: "Nothing."
TECH: "Nothing?"
CUST: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
TECH: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
CUST: "How do I tell?"
TECH: "Can you see the "C" prompt on the screen?"
CUST: "What's a sea-prompt?"
TECH: "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
CUST: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I
type."
TECH: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
CUST: "What's a monitor?"
TECH: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it
have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
CUST: "I don't know."
TECH: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power
cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
CUST: "...Yes, I think so."
TECH: "Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into
the wall."
CUST: "...Yes, it is."
TECH: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
CUST: "No."
TECH: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the
other cable."
CUST: "...Okay, here it is."
TECH: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back
of your computer."
CUST: "I can't reach."
TECH: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
CUST: "No."
TECH: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
CUST: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's
dark."
TECH: "Dark?"
CUST: "Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in
from the window."
TECH: "Well, turn on the office light then."
CUST: "I can't."
TECH: "No? Why not?"
CUST: "Because there's a power outage."
TECH: "A power... a power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do
you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came
in?"
CUST: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
TECH: "Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like
it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
CUST: "Really? Is it that bad?"
TECH: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
CUST: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
TECH: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You only need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You only need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
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NaziSentry
The last PC i fixed, the lady was wondering why it was so loaded with viruses/spyware etc. and why little porn ads kept appearing on her desktops. so this was the conversation --
ME:So, what websites do you visit?
HER:Well, i admit my husband and i do look alot on porn sites and that but i didn't think it was that big of an issue?
ME:(in my head: you sickos) Theres your problem.
ME:So, what websites do you visit?
HER:Well, i admit my husband and i do look alot on porn sites and that but i didn't think it was that big of an issue?
ME:(in my head: you sickos) Theres your problem.