A portion of my WWII script: Night of Nights, Day of Days
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- SgtPadrino
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A portion of my WWII script: Night of Nights, Day of Days
Title card:
“Soldiers, Sailors, and Airmen of the Allied Expeditionary Force: You are about to embark on the Great Crusade, toward which we have striven these many months. The eyes of the world are upon you.
Good luck! And let us all beseech the blessing of the Almighty God upon this great and noble undertaking.â€
“Soldiers, Sailors, and Airmen of the Allied Expeditionary Force: You are about to embark on the Great Crusade, toward which we have striven these many months. The eyes of the world are upon you.
Good luck! And let us all beseech the blessing of the Almighty God upon this great and noble undertaking.â€
Last edited by SgtPadrino on Mon Jul 12, 2004 7:28 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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I don't believe they were that vulgar in WW2. Interesting story anyhow. I shall read it a little more thoroughly later.
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Okay, I have read it through. Very ineresting. I think it is way too highly vulgar, almost like a foxwood script. It is building up to something, though I expect the rest of the script will have the climax and resolution. It sounds very much like Band of Brothers, Part 2 right now.
The cut between the opening sequence and the titles seems awfully harsh. Also the whole thing sounds a bit too, um... typical. Maybe have something original occur? A different theme they all follow, maybe? And I see you stuck FUBAR in there as well.
That's all I have to say at the moment.
The cut between the opening sequence and the titles seems awfully harsh. Also the whole thing sounds a bit too, um... typical. Maybe have something original occur? A different theme they all follow, maybe? And I see you stuck FUBAR in there as well.
That's all I have to say at the moment.
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Well, this story hasn't been done too many times, in Hollywood or here (to the best of my knowledge at least). Or maybe the whole soldier's honor thing of risking your life to rescue another is unoriginal? But hey, that's been a real aspect of war since the Civil War. Anyway, fubar is a common saying in the military, nothing more. Saving Private Ryan just happened to use it a lot
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well I read the openning and skimmed across the rest, what can I say, lazy bumb, but it sounds fine if not super orignal, but then war movies are all in the exicution not the consept. when you get a finished script up I'll read the entire thing. And I didn't find it to Vulger, troopers are troopers, hell if I had writen it it would have been worse.
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Ah hah! Coming from foxwood, what defines vulgar!?foxwood wrote:And I didn't find it to Vulger, troopers are troopers, hell if I had writen it it would have been worse.
I think thre is too much cursing.
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My defenition of vulguer is rather low, my tolerance and acseptance and use of vulgarity is high.Epsilon wrote:Ah hah! Coming from foxwood, what defines vulgar!?foxwood wrote:And I didn't find it to Vulger, troopers are troopers, hell if I had writen it it would have been worse.
I think thre is too much cursing.
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^ac-47.
I found that I can make an interior of a drop plane simply by lining up collapsable tables along the walls in the hallway. A room enterance would be the door!
I found that I can make an interior of a drop plane simply by lining up collapsable tables along the walls in the hallway. A room enterance would be the door!
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The diologe feels strange, that didn't seem to be the best place to explane the nickname in. Its a good bit of charator, but could probably be used better someplace ealse. Other then that it is a bit detail light in the action, and the plan seems very non-diologeish, my question have you tryed reading what you are writing outloud, that will make your diologe sound better.
Story wise, seems like a typical war flick.
Story wise, seems like a typical war flick.
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I thought that was pretty neat, and there was some good character development touches and sharp dialogue in there. I think that you need some gimmick or original idea to make it into something special. I personally don't think that cussing is an issue. When I write a script, there is a swear word at least twice on every page.
Last edited by Rampage4 on Mon Jul 12, 2004 7:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Realised you're not a businessman?
Nope, just a man...
Nope, just a man...
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