A cross between Starship Troopers, S.W.A.T, and 44 Minutes

[edinc90]

*Camera angle
Stage Directions
(other directions)

*MW shot of man running down dirt path.
*CU shot of man feet.
Back to *MW shot. Man stops because his cell phone is ringing. Opens phone.
Man (to other end of phone): “I told you already, I’m on vacation. No I don…â€

[Epsilon]

The biggest problem is the script format is awful and everywhere. It is hard to read.

Sounds like your generic action film so far. Try to make something even more original and signature to the movie. Like Starship Troopers was all about fending from the bugs.

[edinc90]

How could I fix it?

[AA]

http://www.geocities.com/flashburnfilms ... rials.html
http://www.detonationfilms.com/free_stuff.htm

These are 2 different script formats that are ready to go. Just go to one of these websites and look for the script download.

[edinc90]

Thanks AA. I will make it original more into the story. That was like the opening scene.

[foxwood]

http://www.matthawkins.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?t=3774 check out that thred it will tell you what you need to know. Bring it back in a more perfetional formant, or somthing I can read without having to look at a key and I'll give my opinion on the script.

[edinc90]

www.edinc90.0catch.com
Go to the bottom above the counter, there you can find a download of my script in .doc format.

[Themovieman44]

Write it in Pro Format, and leave the camera angles out. It's a big NO NO to put those in a script. Write a whole different sheet with them. It's okay to put a few in a script here and there but dont over load the whole thing with it. Direct the movie, dont direct it through writing.

[edinc90]

Whats Pro Format?

[edinc90]

This is right after the house blows up.

FADE IN:
INT. OFFICE OF ALLAN PINKERTON – 3 DAYS LATER
There is a knock on the door.
ALLAN:
Come in.
GRANT walks in, carrying a briefcase. Outside the door a crowd of reporters is starting to develop. The Allan is on the phone.
ALLAN:
No I…no. I don’t know what happened. OK, goodbye.
Slams phone down.
ALLAN (CON’T):
The media has been all over me for a story for three days. Do we even know what happened?
GRANT:
All we know is that the training house wasn’t supposed to blow up. There was supposed to be a fake bomb in it as part of the training.
ALLAN:
But…?
GRANT:
But it wasn’t hooked up to any explosives; nothing, just a battery to drive the countdown circuit. There weren’t even explosives in the house.
ALLAN:
So, why did it blow up?
GRANT:
We don’t know.
ALLAN:
Did the cameras catch anything?
GRANT:
We did get this…
Grant goes through his briefcase.
GRANT (CON’T):
…from one of the outside cameras. That’s only one frame. Before there was nothing, one frame after is the explosion.
Allan looks over the picture.
ALLAN:
Is there a way we can make this any clearer?
GRANT:
We have some software tha…
Grant is interrupted by the phone. It is Allan’s SECRETARY.
SECRETARY:
Sir, Newsweek is on line two.
ALLAN:
Not now. Uhh, you were saying?
GRANT:
I think I can clean this up a bit. The software is still in its test…
ALLAN:
Good, good. You get on that right away. I have to hold back the media from breaking down my doors.
Grant leaves, forcing his way through the crowd of reporters and camera crews outside Allan’s office.

[edinc90]

Allan Pinkerton is, by the way, the actual name of the Head of Military Intelligence (hey, thats an oxymoron: military intelligence!)