Untitled Script.. Need Ideas

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youngfilmmaker
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Post by youngfilmmaker »

Lol Nice title Jperson.
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Post by Jperson »

Why thank you. :D
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Post by kene555 »

Just thought it was interesting...soon after posting this idea for a movie it actually happens...

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/04/16/vtech. ... index.html
Last edited by kene555 on Tue Apr 17, 2007 11:43 am, edited 2 times in total.
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youngfilmmaker
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Post by youngfilmmaker »

No, there is no connections. Its sad that this had to happen. Our prayers are with the families of the victims.
Last edited by youngfilmmaker on Mon Apr 16, 2007 11:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by angusware »

or perhaps you should call it something that a ten year old would come up with in fifteen minutes? (Metronome)
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Post by Metronome1 »

angusware wrote:or perhaps you should call it something that a ten year old would come up with in fifteen minutes? (Metronome)
I'm only trying to help.

Call it "Massacre in a school by a Torture Kid" for all I care, now.
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Post by Jperson »

Call it 'For All I Care'. Thanks Metronome, that's a great title you just gave me. 'For All I care'. If you don't use, I'll use it, unless it already is a film.
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Post by Mr.Anderson »

In all honesty there isn't much to these characters. Theres no reason to sympathize with any of them. Kai, I would suppose, is the rational figure, but all in all hes a pretty standard backup friend. The "Don't do it dude" guy. We have no explanation of Pete, Ray, or Johnny's actions. Our implied explanation is "I am Johnny. I beat up Mike because I am an as_hole." These characters are purely actions, you are using them merely as tools to move the story. Which, in truth, is what they are for. But if you want to create some sort of emotional bond to any of them, there must be further explanation for there actions, not just their actions and then the consequences. Maybe make Kai the reluctant accomplice who doesn't want to shoot anyone, but just takes up guns with Mike to try and possibly keep him from killing people.
Maybe in a scene Mike asks Kai if a person on the floor is alive, Kai knows that they are, but says no, they're dead to save them. If you want a different type of view on this story, then I would suggest rewriting it from Kai's view. The perspective of someone who is the only person that can see Mike unraveling and getting worser by the day, and the only person who even cares. Once the shooting begins, perhaps Mike is shooting people, but in a struggle Johnny is able to mortally wound Mike. Kai sees this and kills Johnny. When the police come in Kai is holding a dead Mike, and so the only shooter left is the most innocent one. And he is blamed.
Maybe you don't have to go down such a tragic route, but still. I suggest a rewrite. Your script now only has the depth of a very generic action movie. These are one line characters, they only exist to at some point do one specific thing or say one specific line to which the main character will react. This could be good, you just need more.
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Post by F.F.F. »

This all sort of sounds like Carrie.
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Post by Jperson »

Call it "The Day I Gunned Down School"
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