My First Short Film

[MrT]

Hi,

I recently made my first short film for the Bafta 60 seconds of fame competition.

http://www.60secondsoffame.co.uk/bafta/ ... 8003518642

If anyone has a chance, I would be really grateful for any opinions on it and if you like it any votes.

Cheers.

[angusware]

It was ok, the acting wasn't great, there didn't seem to be anything coming from her at all. No panic or sudden thoughts... The camera work was ok, I didn't like the graphics like the map, they didn't need to be there.
The idea wasn't very original either, good luck!

[joe]

60 seconds is tough to do a complete film in, but you pulled it off quite nicely. This film had a good simple story, sufficient acting, and fairly good technical quality. Normally I'm a bit iffy about multiple screens in one, but for the time element and the flow of this, it worked well. The idea was one I (and probably many others) could relate to, so it wasn't hard to get into. Overall, it was an amusing little film. Good show.

Joe

[Kentertainment]

I didn't like the graphics like the map, they didn't need to be there.
The idea wasn't very original either, good luck!

You are stating the exact opposite of my opinion. The map was great, it gave it a nice design and it was something different. Although, the story plot isn't that original at all, there are countless amounts of films that contain somebody striving for something and having obstacles in the way. Example, my film "Five Cents" and Josh Groshko's "Frustration."

Editing and Design were the favorites for me. The stop motion present stacking, fades of the closed signs, and all that was great. You managed to fit it perfectly in the 60 second time frame and get the story across, kudos.

Anyway, I like the film but I do agree, the acting was poor, probably the weakest element of the film. 50% of acting is non-verbal and there just wasn't any there. The camera work was overall good, not great, and it threw me off in a few spots where there would be great tracking shots of her running and then all the sudden there were some shaky hand-held shots.

[joe]

Although, the story plot isn't that original at all, there are countless amounts of films that contain somebody striving for something and having obstacles in the way. Example, my film "Five Cents" and Josh Groshko's "Frustration."

This comment just stuck out to me. I was just thinking about any movie that I've made and almost any movie that has ever been made. The fact of the matter is that most movie plots are broken down to this idea: Someone or something striving for something and having obstacles in the way. So, to say that that particular idea is unoriginal, we would be saying that almost all films are unoriginal. Maybe the particular manifestation wasn't the brightest in your opinion, but we must stick to specifics.

A comment on the acting: I only watched the film once, but I didn't really notice a major inefficiency on the part of the actress. Maybe a lack of vibrance, but then the role didn't call for all too much really. Indeed non-verbal acting is extremely important to an excellent performance. A picture-even a moving picture-is worth a thousand words.

Joe

[angusware]

the director is vital to the acting too. The story plot of all films isn't always that, and yes, most films are unoriginal in some ways. Notice how the great films are different concepts? This story was particularly like Five Cents and Frustration, not just the underlying idea.

[joe]

Can you tell me a plot that doesn't contain those elements? I'm interested to hear one.

Joe

[Kentertainment]

Although, the story plot isn't that original at all, there are countless amounts of films that contain somebody striving for something and having obstacles in the way. Example, my film "Five Cents" and Josh Groshko's "Frustration."

This comment just stuck out to me. I was just thinking about any movie that I've made and almost any movie that has ever been made. The fact of the matter is that most movie plots are broken down to this idea: Someone or something striving for something and having obstacles in the way. So, to say that that particular idea is unoriginal, we would be saying that almost all films are unoriginal. Maybe the particular manifestation wasn't the brightest in your opinion, but we must stick to specifics.

This is true, although there are some where it is more evident than others. My examples were mine, "Five Cents" where someone is trying to get to the library and return something before it's overdue, then there is "Frustration" where someone is trying to get to an important meeting on time. To revise what I'm stating about the unoriginal idea is someone striving to get something or somewhere within a very short amount of time.

[angusware]

There aren;t many films that break away from this form, the most common variation is the idea of having no obstacles.
An example of where this story idea isn't aparent is in Moulin Rouge (not the best of films) because he wins and keeps the girl for most of the film, so you can't say he is trying the get the girl because he's already got her.
Another example of this is Romeo and Juliet, which follows Moulin Rouge's plot (or vice versa) and then they all kill themselves...those are poor examples though, I just can't think of a film that differs significantly.

But the film was very close to Five Cents and Frustration, not just the underlying concept.

[joe]

I can't say for sure about Moulin Rouge because I've never seen it. But take Romeo and Juliet for example. Indeed, they already love each other, but that doesn't mean that they have no obstacles. The struggle in that story is the struggle against their families and the opposition to their romantic endeavors by other people. Even though it isn't a struggle between themselves, it is still a struggle.

[MrT]

Cheers for all the feedback so far its always good to get some different opinions.

I agree the acting isnt great, it was done by my sister who has never acted before so she did her best . Im hoping that once I have made a few shorts and have a bit more experience I'll have the confidence to use proper actors.

I agree the majority of films fit a structure which involes struggle/conflict (http://www.exposure.co.uk/eejit/3act/), so im not sure the structure is unoriginal as it tends to be used in most films. However the story was influenced by Jason Reitmans short film Gulp, so I do agree the story isnt that original. Because it could only be 60seconds I hoped that by using this I could cut out a lot of exposition as the audience would already have a good concept of what was happening.