My first "Film School" film! Tell me what you thi

John Groshko · Post by **John Groshko** » Sun Sep 24, 2006 9:40 pm

Just uploaded it today and finished editing it on Friday.
It's a 4min film without dialogue or sound effects (only music and imagery could be used to tell the story).

Positive Punishment

Comments welcomed.

britishbulldog · Post by **britishbulldog** » Sun Sep 24, 2006 10:20 pm

i liked it, one thing what the hell was it about it was really confusing

John Groshko · Post by **John Groshko** » Sun Sep 24, 2006 11:23 pm

The film was about cheating and then receiving "Positive Punishment". Unfortunately you can't tell (Because of the video compression on Google Video), but there is a test on the bedside table in the opening shot of the film with an "A+" on it (just under the alarm clock). It looks obvious on DVD, just not on the web. Other than that I do feel that the film "kind-of" gets confusing in the second half (because it wasn't my idea, LOL! "Too many chefs in the kitchen" if you know what I mean?). But yeah, just watch it again and keep in mind that there is a test paper on the night-stand with an A+ on it.

Glad you enjoyed it.

P.S. What did you think of the first half of the film?

Moriarty · Post by **Moriarty** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 3:45 pm

Hey John,

Thought the first half was good - thought the music didn't really fit the piece at first but when the actor went to the bathroom and closed the cabinet mirror (seeing the guy in the cloak) it kind of fitted there. The only problem with using already known music is that the person watching will immediately think of the film/TV series it was originally used for.

So in the first half my mind kept on going back to Kubrick's 2001!

There was a distinct change of direction when the girl starts doing the test. Nice camera angles, kept the flow going but the actual plot seemed to go a bit wayward at that point. I was thinking to myself when she was doing her lipstick in the guy's shades - 'uuum, this guy's wearing a cloak and shades...doesn't she think that's a weeny bit weird?' but hey, as you said - too many chefs in the kitch an all.

On the whole though, a good introduction to your film making skills.

Lawriejaffa · Post by **Lawriejaffa** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 4:31 pm

I think its well a bit confusing to be honest, and i also think ripping the music of ligeti is a little unprofessional really.

When are filmmakers on this forum going to stop stealing music for their films when there is a huge amount of legal music that can be used already!

Gyro · Post by **Gyro** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 6:07 pm

Tighten up the editing!

Epsilon · Post by **Epsilon** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 8:47 pm

The music confused me. It was actually kind of boring. It was shot more like a music video than a horror scheme.

Firestorm · Post by **Firestorm** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 8:48 pm

Good, but some close-up shots would be good. For instance, a quick close-up shot of the book closing over the cheat sheet when the girl's taking the test.. Maybe a panning shot that goes over the test and then focuses on the bed. Stuff like that. And yeah, the 2nd half, I was thinking "oh no, the nerd's gonna getcha".

thenexthitchcock · Post by **thenexthitchcock** » Sat Oct 07, 2006 12:05 am

I also think the editing could have been tighter. It stayed too long in certain places, the clock springs to mind and also the beginning could have been a little quicker in my opinion,but overall I liked it, some good unusual shots in there too.

floogle · Post by **floogle** » Sat Oct 07, 2006 10:53 am

Hi,

Lots of good bits and bad bits in this. Nice camera work and dolly in the school but the music was to noticable. I didnt think the edits were THAT bad really. The story did confuse the hell out of me though.