new film what do you think?

rhys · Post by **rhys** » Sun Aug 27, 2006 5:59 am

YAY!!!!
KeithP: Ur cool, and so is ur pic.
Jimbobsquarepants: You need to do that whole thing again, if u want it to be any good.
The way it would work, in a way that people arent going to turn it off half way through:
Have the title do what it does, at the start, right up until the music hits the final string, then get it to fade to black. The title should stop around the 13 second mark. The rest just makes it boring and slow.
Have that same song, and have a tripod, holding the camcorder, and get that smash to come in and it starts to slowly move down, not just like it immediatly goes down, as if someone just picked up the camera and started filming.
When u have the camera man going, put him on a skateboard and get someone else to push him. And dont follow the guy whos walking, he has almost nothing to do with whats happening.
Use the shake reduction plugin thing in Premiere Pro.
Get the family to walk by once.
Dont cut to the same style movement, upto other people, it doesnt work well.
With you, or who ever it is in the car, should just be sitting there, kinda p*** off, and waiting for the call. Put a light in there so its easier to see. Dont get him to smile.
Have more angles, and less time having long ones, you should have only one.
Dont film the gang pretty much at all, or at leasted when hes holding his head having a spaz.
Get rid of that family.
The shot of the car should be one single, smooth angle, and use the de-shaker, and a tripod, and make sure it moves well.
Get the car to pull up next to him for a reason (car park, etc).
For the assassins agent, change his voice with plugins in Premiere, and make him sound dark and more computerised (as if he was wearing a voice-changer).
Change what that guy says to "Your target is in the black 4x4, make it quick. He is lightly armed, so dont mess it up"
Get him the actor to confirm what he says with some thing like "Ill perform the hit now".
Film a close angle to him grabbing his gun, then a wider one of his holding it out, then get the target to bring out his gun quickly and try to face it at him, before u go back to that wider angle of him, firing, with a pretty muzzle flash, and a reasonably big one. And have a loud bang, and get the music to completely cut out, so it has a bit more of a scary effect.
Delete the angle of the chicks screaming and running away, same with the family, but keep there screams for the background noise. Get the dead guy to have blood all over his face, and get his blood to spray on the passanger.
Then get the passanger to scream "F**K!!!". Then get him to jump out of the car and go around, and get the people to jump out of the back alot faster. Dont get them to hold onto him, it makes him look like a criminal, being held by the police.
Change the song to something a little angrier and scarier then 'bad to the bone', and get him to bring out something better than a tommy gun (like a full M4 or something).
Change the sound effect of the bullets and have better muzzle flashes, and get them to change alot more (dont ever use them again).
Completely forget about showing the sparks, that just ruins it. If you know how to do it, show the tires being popped and stuff.
Have him actually fire at something, rather then an empty car, and show where the people went off to. Paint the guns that he takes out of the car, either metallic or black.
The third guy behind the car looks like he has a ray gun, which looks really stupid. And if there supposed to be police (which i dont think so) get them to wear armour, and no sunglasses.
Wear longer pants, and black ones. When he throws the granade, completely forget about the slow motion, and have it alot scarier by going normal motion. And have it land at his feet, and him noticing and being like 's***!' and trying to run away, before hes blown to peices, and his blood and guts goes all around his team members.
When u see the main guy again, get him to have that sadistic small smile, and him running off in a wider angle.
Then color correct it all.
Learn when to have the right shots where. Because a closeup of him running away, doesnt work well.
And that shouldnt be a trailer, but merely a sneak peak to ur movie and have it as an actual scene.
The closing title shouldnt be so childish either, have it more normal, like arial white and centered or something, not ghoul orange and up the top.

KeithP · Post by **KeithP** » Sun Aug 27, 2006 7:28 am

Thanks Rhys love the whole Retro style art. Remember Photoshop is your friend. But yah Rhys has got the juste of it there I believe. That must of took a while to write. Congrats on that. I read 75% of it and you are right. You pretty much reworked the whole first scene of his movie. He'll be happy im sure. Such a nice thing you did.

PS: Im laughing so hard right now that you did all that. Thats awesome.

I don't mean it sarcastically or anything just you rewrote the whole thing. Sell him the copyright if there is one. Its almost Rhys's movie.

rhys · Post by **rhys** » Sun Aug 27, 2006 7:59 am

Thank you!
I made a new friend! LOL
I got bored and had nothing to do, and i wanted to tell him EVERYTHING that was wrong with it, in a way that he knows he can fix it, rather than completely getting rid of the bad thing and being confused to what to replace it with, because people have done that to me before, and i made the same mistake, over and over again.
Your reasonably new, yet u talk like uv been here for years, thats not a bad thing at all. Nice...

justin!butcher · Post by **justin!butcher** » Sun Aug 27, 2006 1:38 pm

RHYS "Get rid of that family.

Change the song to something a little angrier and scarier then 'bad to the bone', and get him to bring out something better than a tommy gun (like a full M4 or something)."

Hey, I liked most of what you said accept for these two things. The family and the people in the street where perhaps the best part of this movie. Dont get rid of them, they where by far better actors than the "assasin". Secondly, it looked really cheesy when he pulled out that M-16. It did not look realistic in the least. The thompson was good looking so try and use that more and the other plastic looking weapons less. In fact if you wanted to make it really cool order a silenced airsoft pistol. It'll cost you but it'd be worth it. And yes RHYS he did pull out an m16 which is very similar to the m4 and it didnt look menacing. So think of something else.

Anyway, hope that helped.

KeithP · Post by **KeithP** » Mon Aug 28, 2006 12:32 am

No don't take out the family is correct. I think what Rhys meant was that since the mother and kids were doing the same thing in 2 shots that were seperated by a 30 second gap was what he meant. Have them in one then not in the other. You know what I mean. Just pay attention to it. The guy is walking mother walks with kids around the little curvy corner. Then when they are in the car they are doing the exact same thing with almost the same emotion.

Jperson · Post by **Jperson** » Mon Aug 28, 2006 8:11 am

There is some much here what I have to say has probably been said a thousand times, but I'll say it anyway. The ttile at the beggining was good, but maybe to many effects, like too much flashing, lightening etc. Also you could have had it somehow that when lightening struck it spelled out the words Metal Head thingie, anyway good. But that wasn't wat I was supposed to be looking at.

It was all planned, I do like the fact you got your mum and sisters and whatever to play, but I'm afraid I think they where overused, and weren't the greatest of actors... Also some of the cuts where a bit wierd, you cut from on place to another place quite nearby and it didn't look that right, also, the lighting would change betwen cuts. Still it looked good and I am looking forward to the film.

rhys · Post by **rhys** » Mon Aug 28, 2006 12:22 pm

Yeah, dont completely get rid of that family because that would ruin it. But dont focus it on them. Like have the assassin all p*** off and stuff walking up the street, and the family to be seen in the background.
Oh yeah, and how did u actually come up with enough guts to film some 14 year olds running around the streets with plastic guns? No offence, it just seems a little weird.

KeithP · Post by **KeithP** » Mon Aug 28, 2006 5:37 pm

Yah unless it was a closed envrionment with the place actually closed for filming I would get a little scared if I just seen some people carrying around guns.

Jimbobsquarepants · Post by **Jimbobsquarepants** » Fri Sep 08, 2006 7:19 pm

lol it aint a closed environment but every1 knows whats hppenin so... thanks guys i have finished a re-edit and have done the following:

i have changed the muzzel flashes to much more realistic ones.
i have made the logo quicker and without silly effects. short and sweet AND i managed to still have the guitar chord bit with the first scene.
i have redone the grenade sequence.
the guy who gets shot now has blood sqiurting off him when he gets shot.
i have removed his lame acting.
i have changed the voice from the earpiece.

i would like to point out:

the passenger does scream F**K
it is not a ray gun, it is a grease gun.
I don't have whatever plug-in you are reffering to.
you sed it shouldnt be a trailer, more like a preview. well if u look at he title on youtube, it is called preview.

thanks

Magic-Man · Post by **Magic-Man** » Fri Sep 08, 2006 11:05 pm

...shudder....

rhys · Post by **rhys** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 1:09 am

Yeah, im sure u made it well.....
Are u gonna post it back on here?

smokeythebear · Post by **smokeythebear** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 2:12 am

it was ok i do agree with everyone but one thing i have to say is that is not really a trailer more of a short skit , go to google and type in movie trailers in the video sections.

rhys · Post by **rhys** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 9:35 am

i would like to point out:
you sed it shouldnt be a trailer, more like a preview. well if u look at he title on youtube, it is called preview.

Yeah, it was a preview.
But seriously though, try and improve from bloodmoney 1, that was really bad.

Jimbobsquarepants · Post by **Jimbobsquarepants** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 9:50 am

i know, complete suckage. nah im not gunna post it again.

rhys · Post by **rhys** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 10:13 am

Why arent u going to post it again?

Jimbobsquarepants · Post by **Jimbobsquarepants** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 10:28 am

cos i cant be arsed to render it

Post by **Matt** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 11:18 pm

Was it filmed in Kent?

I liked the way there are plenty of people in the street. Don't often see members of the public wandering about in amateur films. That makes it stand out from the usual clips we see of people running about with guns. Nice car

Jimbobsquarepants · Post by **Jimbobsquarepants** » Sun Sep 17, 2006 7:51 pm

yeh it was filmed in yalding, kent. the pedestrians are my mates, their mums, their sisters, and their sisters friends. lol

Jimbobsquarepants · Post by **Jimbobsquarepants** » Sat Sep 30, 2006 12:05 pm

actually u know wht? i am gong to post it again. i havnt recoloured it i will do that to the entire film when it is filmed.

Jimbobsquarepants · Post by **Jimbobsquarepants** » Sat Sep 30, 2006 5:33 pm

rhys · Post by **rhys** » Sun Oct 01, 2006 4:56 am

That didnt change too much from the original, but the sou d effects are better and most of the muzzle flashes looked alot better.
You still have the problem of keeping in really long shots, just because u filmed it and it took for ever doesnt mean u have to keep it in.
It was good though, quite a bit better.
I gots a problem with it thouhg: You still keep in the strange and scary facial expressions.
The style did change quite a bit, it made it alot more interesting. And the first song is much better.
Yeah, just alter or delete the facial expressions and it would make it alot better.
Did u steal that skeleton gun guy? It was cool. But you know... its probably stolen from somewhere.

chrisgreen · Post by **chrisgreen** » Sun Oct 01, 2006 8:12 pm

I really liked it. I'd be going a bit far if i said it didn't look amaturish; but the let down factors were the lack of money for props (and young actors driving cars) but thats really something which is out of your control. I liked the fact that you had a large(ish) cast, one big enough to show you've had a good try at making a "normal" looking neighbourhood. The children and mothers screaming was a nice touch, it shows you've tried in the places that count.

The film was scored well and paced the production well. It could have been a little quicker in places, but i think you've made a really good atempt at it. Lets just hope that in the future budgets will get bigger so you can play around with weapons etc some more.

Jimbobsquarepants · Post by **Jimbobsquarepants** » Sun Oct 01, 2006 9:08 pm

there is actually no budget it just so happens that me and my mates have tonnes of props. and everyone knows me so i can ask people for favours eg. car, mums, kids, props etc and i usually get everything for free. i f i remember correctly most of those props cost about Ã‚Â£2 cept the thompson which was more like 50 but that isnt mine so....

chrisgreen · Post by **chrisgreen** » Sun Oct 01, 2006 9:11 pm

Thats alright, i was a little confused as to why there was a thompson, but i guessed it was a borrowed prop.

Jimbobsquarepants · Post by **Jimbobsquarepants** » Fri Nov 03, 2006 9:46 pm

anyway just so you know this is just the first scene of my film.