NEW SHORT: SEVENTY-TWO. PLEASE WATCH AND COMMENT NOW!!!WATCH

[Jperson]

here's a new short, which I originaly recorded as an arty thing, but then decided, well that doesn't really appeal to everyone, so I chaged it a bit and added a bit of drama. I won't say much more now. PLEASE WATCH AND COMMENT NOW!

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid ... 5&hl=en-GB

WATCH NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Jperson]

Come on, I need some comments here.

[DarkElastic]

OK, I just watched it.

The Good:

Nice shots.
Very Good editing.
Good tension built up with music.
Nice text, and story through the text.
End credits were put together nice.

The bad:

All the shots were close. There was no diversity.
I did not get what happened at the end? I am guessing a gun shot, but the sound effect was awful.
Large gap between black (with gun sound) and start of credits.
Music over titles did not fit with music through the film.


It was OK as an art film goes, but I didn't get what it was all about to be honest. The tension gained through music and shots was very good, but it was spoilt by a really bad sound effect and no diversity in shots.

Good effort 5 out of 10.

[elstongunn]

awful, just awful. what the hell does white goods have to do with the heart. tediously long. could not make out a damn thing in the black and white grain. a overtly long generic exercise. didnt try to be "arty" as you say or original because its been done a million times before if you want to do somthing remotely interisting with any hope of holding audiences attention have a look at "alone" posted by another member on this forum. standard use of apple imovie soundeffects. but they did work for you to a degree. nice titling though.

[Jperson]

awful, just awful. what the hell does white goods have to do with the heart. tediously long. could not make out a damn thing in the black and white grain. a overtly long generic exercise. didnt try to be "arty" as you say or original because its been done a million times before if you want to do somthing remotely interisting with any hope of holding audiences attention have a look at "alone" posted by another member on this forum. standard use of apple imovie soundeffects. but they did work for you to a degree. nice titling though.

awful? white goods, well, one that's washing machines and stuff cause the cleaner gets killed, but you don't have to know that. I could have filmed a cocktail, if I'd wanted to. The grain, well first of all I had to make it low quality to upload, and secondly you're really meant to see too much, it creates more tension, and thirdly you're blind!!

an not a overtly. bad grammer. and besides I never said it was original, did i? thanks for the titlling, I have to say my favourite clip was the one of the electric cord.

Keep the comments coming

[Lebotimizer_1]

awful comes to mind what with all this art junk. It seems as if your attempting to make an arty black and white film has faailed miserably J. I felt like i was watching an imformation video and a long overdrawn one. It was so slow and resembles your other video where you went around the house this time in black and white ooooo fancy. There was no need for credits as there was no plausable storyline or 'DRAMA' as you have advertised. Good points ,well.................................umm i liked ur titles i guess. Next time attempt a story. Rating - N/A

[Jperson]

Listen, everyone wants a storyline, why on earth does everything have to have a storyline. It's like totaly dismissing all of modern art. Unlike the older paintings they wern't anything. They where just, I suppose what could be described as 'splodges', with no reality, no realisim, like not having a plot. However like all modern is accepted and quite a lot is expensive. Like the piece of art of a bin bag worth millions. I ask why do you have to have a storyline?

[Jperson]

The tension gained through music and shots was very good, but it was spoilt by a really bad sound effect and no diversity in shots.

The gun sound effet at the end? Yeah, 'cause I was experimenting makng it echo and it didn't turn out very well in that version.

[Lebotimizer_1]

A painting is very diffferent from a film. A film in basics is just another way to tell a story. So ofcourse thats what movies are for , telling storys. If there was no storyline what would be the point in watching it?

[Jperson]

You say films are for telling stories, yes, this may sound wierd but they can tell stories without having a storyline. Paitings can tell stories, so can modern art paintings but in different ways. The way I like to iflm is making a film that does not just put the story there one a plate for you, yes they can be great,, but I like, especialy with these shorts to give you bits of a story, so you kinda have an idea, but you can fill in, with this film you can completly create a whole background to why this person gets killed. And even in the films that I make which are straight there on a plate action films, I add little bits where you can build your own story up. And you say a painting is very different from a film, yes and no. A film is really only a collection of paintings, that's all it is, like a gallery. One hugs gallery. Anyway, it is good we are engaging in this, err, very deep conversation. LOL

[Jperson]

You say films are for telling stories, yes, this may sound wierd but they can tell stories without having a storyline. Paitings can tell stories, so can modern art paintings but in different ways. The way I like to iflm is making a film that does not just put the story there one a plate for you, yes they can be great,, but I like, especialy with these shorts to give you bits of a story, so you kinda have an idea, but you can fill in, with this film you can completly create a whole background to why this person gets killed. And even in the films that I make which are straight there on a plate action films, I add little bits where you can build your own story up. And you say a painting is very different from a film, yes and no. A film is really only a collection of paintings, that's all it is, like a gallery. One hugs gallery. Anyway, it is good we are engaging in this, err, very deep conversation. LOL

[Jperson]

Woops, I submitted that twice, oh what the hec.

[elstongunn]

what cleaner?????? who got killed.

[Jperson]

newbie elstogunn, I know the sound effect was awful, cause I modified it, but the cleaner got shot!

[elstongunn]

oooooo okk makes a bit more sense now. yes i am a newb we all have to start off somwhere.

[operson]

here's a new short, which I originaly recorded as an arty thing, but then decided, well that doesn't really appeal to everyone, so I chaged it a bit and added a bit of drama. I won't say much more now. PLEASE WATCH AND COMMENT NOW!

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid ... 5&hl=en-GB

WATCH NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am apalled at this boring univentful rubbish you cannot make a good film to save life

hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi

it was funny that fake blood on oscar in the call

[mickcar73]

[quote="Jperson"] with this film you can completly create a whole background to why this person gets killed. quote]


How? there wasnt even a human being in the movie or any background or reason evident

[Jperson]

Well du! That's the whole flipping point! That's how you make up the story, you unimaginitive idiot!

[mickcar73]

nah , i wont start imatuer name calling as you so rudely have , i am soo offended. anyway it seemed like an ad for like irons and threads so how could i make a story wen its just shots of home ec supplies, then the cam just falls down apparantly a gunshot. completely random and how could i make a story out of somthing that as i saw it was random shaky shots

[santi]

jperson - you've just wasted 4 minutes of my life.... boring, boring and once again: boring. Some house hardware shooted the way that makes me sea sick with some mumbo-jumbo titles.

[operson]

jperson - you've just wasted 4 minutes of my life.... boring, boring and once again: boring. Some house hardware shooted the way that makes me sea sick with some mumbo-jumbo titles.

you've just wasted 4 minutes of my time, reading that.

[DarkElastic]

I'm sorry to say it mate, but if all posts are negative towards your movie - mainly understanding what is happening - then I think you have to accept that you need to go back to the drawing board on this film, treat it as a failure, learn from the mistakes, and attempt to create a better film next time.

[Jperson]

I'm sorry to say it mate, but if all posts are negative towards your movie - mainly understanding what is happening - then I think you have to accept that you need to go back to the drawing board on this film, treat it as a failure, learn from the mistakes, and attempt to create a better film next time.

Will do, at least you gave some sensible comments though…