Alright lads, heres a wee film i worked on, composed the music with guitar. A terrorist war film not set in iraq!!!
'A man takes revenge' is the basic plot
You guys can check it out at,
http://www.newagefilm.co.uk/FINALMOVIE3.wmv
Chechen Suicide Bomber Short Film DOWNLOAD NOW!
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Lawriejaffa
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Chechen Suicide Bomber Short Film DOWNLOAD NOW!
Last edited by Lawriejaffa on Sun May 21, 2006 6:13 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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SgtPadrino
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RE: Chechen Suicide Bomber Short Film
It was good, even if the music was a bit simplistic. Also, use a tripod more - there was a bit too much camera shake. The muzzle flashes were alright, but the explosion (which was basically the payoff of the whole thing) looked too hokey. In all honesty I would have just whited out as the car was driving at the soldiers, let the audience fill in the blanks (wouldn't really be that hard)
But other than that, great job.
But other than that, great job.
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jackbauer24
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Lawriejaffa
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thanx padrino, the decision to not use a tripod for certain shots was stylistic hehe, but some folks really don't like wobblyness. And thanx jack maybe try downloading it? (rather than streaming it?) if thats the prob maybe.
The explosion leads a better way to fill the frame to black, for the credits, than white i reckon. It is more of an arty film hence the minimist score and style in general, as opposed to a big orchie score with a 'magnificent cgi' explosion at the end.
(cos hell id neeever be able to do that hehe) - well ya never know!
The explosion leads a better way to fill the frame to black, for the credits, than white i reckon. It is more of an arty film hence the minimist score and style in general, as opposed to a big orchie score with a 'magnificent cgi' explosion at the end.
(cos hell id neeever be able to do that hehe) - well ya never know!-
maj_barnes
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I liked it. Music was great, kinda of like a silent film, but with less silence... I guess. 
Alot of the shots were great and the story was interesting.
Some of my problems were some shots carried on alittle too long. Also at times (this is my opinion) when the soldiers are walking, you kinda left too much negative space (ooo! vocab word from photography), like after the shootout when the soldiers begin to walk you see way too much behind them, but when you just see the feet going past the dead body it looks much more pleasing to see them taking up more of the frame. I guess my suggestion would be zoom in some more. Alot of the shots I liked and were edited together really well.
Were the muzzle flashes from EffectsLab? I thought they were out of place, since Ak-47s don't have that kind of muzzle breaks to cause those kind of muzzle flashes. Also the dreaded CS sounds (or at least dreaded to me) are awfully bland (or at least to me), give me your email and I'll send you some ones that are more... better? I don't know, they appeal to me since they sound different. Also, when the guy is shot in the head, I thought it shouldn't have had that digi blood, it looked too fake. I would have liked it more (doesn't mean it's better, just what I would've done) if you see a simple muzzle flash and he plummets to the ground, and not in slow mo; so it seems like the humantiy is just ripped away: raw and gritty I guess.
The explosion, I was thinking of a different way to go to black without having the explosion (it did look pretty bad ): maybe have a view closer to the solders (maybe over the shoulder of two or so, and have a kinda of backwards V so two others are at the up sides of the frame), and you see the car drive up really fast towards them, then goes to black. The only way I think you could pull it off though (like you're going to redo it lol )would be to make the car in reverse from the soldiers super fast: then reverse it.
Again, overall I loved it. I didn't mind the camera shake, I wish more of the shots were handheld too; but that's just me.
Alot of the shots were great and the story was interesting.Some of my problems were some shots carried on alittle too long. Also at times (this is my opinion) when the soldiers are walking, you kinda left too much negative space (ooo! vocab word from photography), like after the shootout when the soldiers begin to walk you see way too much behind them, but when you just see the feet going past the dead body it looks much more pleasing to see them taking up more of the frame. I guess my suggestion would be zoom in some more. Alot of the shots I liked and were edited together really well.
Were the muzzle flashes from EffectsLab? I thought they were out of place, since Ak-47s don't have that kind of muzzle breaks to cause those kind of muzzle flashes. Also the dreaded CS sounds (or at least dreaded to me) are awfully bland (or at least to me), give me your email and I'll send you some ones that are more... better? I don't know, they appeal to me since they sound different. Also, when the guy is shot in the head, I thought it shouldn't have had that digi blood, it looked too fake. I would have liked it more (doesn't mean it's better, just what I would've done) if you see a simple muzzle flash and he plummets to the ground, and not in slow mo; so it seems like the humantiy is just ripped away: raw and gritty I guess.
The explosion, I was thinking of a different way to go to black without having the explosion (it did look pretty bad
): maybe have a view closer to the solders (maybe over the shoulder of two or so, and have a kinda of backwards V so two others are at the up sides of the frame), and you see the car drive up really fast towards them, then goes to black. The only way I think you could pull it off though (like you're going to redo it lol )would be to make the car in reverse from the soldiers super fast: then reverse it.Again, overall I loved it. I didn't mind the camera shake, I wish more of the shots were handheld too; but that's just me.
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Lawriejaffa
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DarkElastic
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I have just watched it and liked it.
The good:
Simple story, but you captured the emotions well.
The actors were well cast and did a good job.
Costumes were very good.
Props were very good.
The boarded up, run down area suited the film well.
The music was your own and suited the film.
You managed a large crew, and I commend you for that.
The bad:
Not sure about the cars. But you live with what you can get.
I am not a muzzle flash person, so cannot tell you if they were right or not. Put it this way, I could tell they weren't real, but they served their purpose.
Explosion at the end served its purpose.
The General looked a touch young for the part, but that didn't affect it much. You still disliked him enough to understand him being killing.
I think the guy would be annoyed with the rebels as well, as they were involved in the shooting that killed his wife.
Overall, I liked this film, liked the feel of it, the music and the acting. I give this 8.5 out of 10. Well done, and keep it up.
The good:
Simple story, but you captured the emotions well.
The actors were well cast and did a good job.
Costumes were very good.
Props were very good.
The boarded up, run down area suited the film well.
The music was your own and suited the film.
You managed a large crew, and I commend you for that.
The bad:
Not sure about the cars. But you live with what you can get.
I am not a muzzle flash person, so cannot tell you if they were right or not. Put it this way, I could tell they weren't real, but they served their purpose.
Explosion at the end served its purpose.
The General looked a touch young for the part, but that didn't affect it much. You still disliked him enough to understand him being killing.
I think the guy would be annoyed with the rebels as well, as they were involved in the shooting that killed his wife.
Overall, I liked this film, liked the feel of it, the music and the acting. I give this 8.5 out of 10. Well done, and keep it up.
O. M. G.
Orkney Movie Group
www.orkneymoviegroup.co.uk
Orkney Movie Group
www.orkneymoviegroup.co.uk
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ZombieKrieg2005
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Firstly on the film, kept me watching it throughout, and I feel you managed to capture some of the blame on the wifes death on the rebels as well, Cars were ok, although not to chechneya yet, I have been to Russia and they would fit in well (even if they are not Ladas!) Actors and costumes etc were good, would agree with the explosion though, maybe just a simple fade to black then with the explosion sound over the top? that really drew me out of the film, even if it was at the end.
Was the boarded up area a FIBUA training area? it just had that look, also a bit confused as to the reason for the balaklava for the bomber, to me it seemed out of place, as he would not want to show himself as a terrorist till he pushed the button.
I found the film interesting and emotional (I wouldn't dream of saying entertaining but you know what I mean)
Was the boarded up area a FIBUA training area? it just had that look, also a bit confused as to the reason for the balaklava for the bomber, to me it seemed out of place, as he would not want to show himself as a terrorist till he pushed the button.
I found the film interesting and emotional (I wouldn't dream of saying entertaining but you know what I mean)
http://lyssophobiaproductio.tripod.com/
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SgtPadrino
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Lawriejaffa
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Yo lads well thanks for the critiques!
Cheers DarkElastic, i dont mean to patronise but your young but insightful! I quite agree with your statement, of course my 'general' is too young, but i did hope that he might appear to maybe not be a general? (oh god did i call him that in the credits lol argh!) Your right the guy should be annoyed with the rebels, but i think its like kind of ironic, that though both are to blame, its still the occupation army that gets the blame for bad stuff that happens. (fairly or not)
ZombieKrieg, yep and weirdly enuf registration plates of russian cars are quite similar to british (bar some russian letters) though im glad u think most cars fit. You and most others aren't too satisfied with the explosion, hmm its a tough one, ill maybe try what sgt padrino suggests! The street is actually a derelict street near where i live
SgtPadrino, thanx again for a specific suggestion, ill have a wee go at that
CtBullet... 'i got bored after 4 mins....' (get ready to hear that from ur future girlfriend hehe)
Thanx lads!
Cheers DarkElastic, i dont mean to patronise but your young but insightful! I quite agree with your statement, of course my 'general' is too young, but i did hope that he might appear to maybe not be a general? (oh god did i call him that in the credits lol argh!) Your right the guy should be annoyed with the rebels, but i think its like kind of ironic, that though both are to blame, its still the occupation army that gets the blame for bad stuff that happens. (fairly or not)
ZombieKrieg, yep and weirdly enuf registration plates of russian cars are quite similar to british (bar some russian letters) though im glad u think most cars fit. You and most others aren't too satisfied with the explosion, hmm its a tough one, ill maybe try what sgt padrino suggests! The street is actually a derelict street near where i live
SgtPadrino, thanx again for a specific suggestion, ill have a wee go at that
CtBullet... 'i got bored after 4 mins....' (get ready to hear that from ur future girlfriend hehe)
Thanx lads!
Nice job - I liked how the piece was silent - although the music was simplistic it had two real rhythms to it that kept the tension going through out.
Where did you get all those uniforms from? I guessing the neighbours on the street thought a militia was building up or something!
I thinkk the majority of things that need improving to make this a tighter piece have already been said - one shot of the film that stayed with me was the soldiers moving past the husband over his wife's body...that image stayed with me for some reason.
You could definitely cut some shots to make the thing flow better - there was a pan with thw camera and it settled on one of the soldiers, and I didn't think it fitted there, but the whole area (the boarded up town, the clothes, the props) all gave it an authentic look.
Where did you get all those uniforms from? I guessing the neighbours on the street thought a militia was building up or something!
I thinkk the majority of things that need improving to make this a tighter piece have already been said - one shot of the film that stayed with me was the soldiers moving past the husband over his wife's body...that image stayed with me for some reason.
You could definitely cut some shots to make the thing flow better - there was a pan with thw camera and it settled on one of the soldiers, and I didn't think it fitted there, but the whole area (the boarded up town, the clothes, the props) all gave it an authentic look.
Nice job - I liked how the piece was silent - although the music was simplistic it had two real rhythms to it that kept the tension going through out.
Where did you get all those uniforms from? I guessing the neighbours on the street thought a militia was building up or something!
I thinkk the majority of things that need improving to make this a tighter piece have already been said - one shot of the film that stayed with me was the soldiers moving past the husband over his wife's body...that image stayed with me for some reason.
You could definitely cut some shots to make the thing flow better - there was a pan with thw camera and it settled on one of the soldiers, and I didn't think it fitted there, but the whole area (the boarded up town, the clothes, the props) all gave it an authentic look.
Where did you get all those uniforms from? I guessing the neighbours on the street thought a militia was building up or something!
I thinkk the majority of things that need improving to make this a tighter piece have already been said - one shot of the film that stayed with me was the soldiers moving past the husband over his wife's body...that image stayed with me for some reason.
You could definitely cut some shots to make the thing flow better - there was a pan with thw camera and it settled on one of the soldiers, and I didn't think it fitted there, but the whole area (the boarded up town, the clothes, the props) all gave it an authentic look.
Nice job - I liked how the piece was silent - although the music was simplistic it had two real rhythms to it that kept the tension going through out.
Where did you get all those uniforms from? I guessing the neighbours on the street thought a militia was building up or something!
I think the majority of things that need improving to make this a tighter piece have already been said - one shot of the film that stayed with me was the soldiers moving past the husband over his wife's body...that image stayed with me for some reason.
You could definitely cut some shots to make the thing flow better - there was a pan with thw camera and it settled on one of the soldiers, and I didn't think it fitted there, but the whole area (the boarded up town, the clothes, the props) all gave it an authentic look.
Where did you get all those uniforms from? I guessing the neighbours on the street thought a militia was building up or something!
I think the majority of things that need improving to make this a tighter piece have already been said - one shot of the film that stayed with me was the soldiers moving past the husband over his wife's body...that image stayed with me for some reason.
You could definitely cut some shots to make the thing flow better - there was a pan with thw camera and it settled on one of the soldiers, and I didn't think it fitted there, but the whole area (the boarded up town, the clothes, the props) all gave it an authentic look.
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Lawriejaffa
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Thanx Moriarty, cool name too, a pal of mine at uni said the same thing about that shot, and maybe tightening other ones. I will work on a tighter edit, and if you gentleman can humour me i'll post the edited version up for u chaps to check out again! Yeah the shot over the body is my fav too Some really like the simple score, others really think its a little bare, (tough one to decide)
We just buy uniforms and save em' up, if ur near fife in the UK, we will help out other filmmakers with stuff like that (so long there careful with our gear hehe) http://www.matthawkins.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?t=9176 theres a list of some of our stuff in ctbullets thread here
Some really like the simple score, others really think its a little bare, (tough one to decide) We just buy uniforms and save em' up, if ur near fife in the UK, we will help out other filmmakers with stuff like that (so long there careful with our gear hehe) http://www.matthawkins.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?t=9176 theres a list of some of our stuff in ctbullets thread here
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Lawriejaffa
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Well, Ctbullet your criticism didnt even explain anything lol! It was just 'nothing special' and 'switched off after 4 mins' which isnt very er constructive, and is spiteful really.
Its so obvious that your short snidey comment is just cos ur grumpy about my post offering advice to you, in ur own threads... If your offended about things i said in ur posts, fine hehe, but don't take it out on my poor wee film.
Its so obvious that your short snidey comment is just cos ur grumpy about my post offering advice to you, in ur own threads... If your offended about things i said in ur posts, fine hehe, but don't take it out on my poor wee film.
you no i'm truly not bothered by your post, it was constructive and i'm working on it
right something constructive for you:
i didn't particularly like the music, didn't seem to suit, not fast enough at times
the acting could have been worked on, more rehearsels etc
right something constructive for you:
i didn't particularly like the music, didn't seem to suit, not fast enough at times
the acting could have been worked on, more rehearsels etc
Our Combat Years: In production
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Lawriejaffa
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CtBullet, Hmm, what exactly about the acting was not convincing? Because while im not suggesting its AMAZING lol, its not been brought up yet, so can you expand or qualify that criticism please? Personally i think the acting is convincing 'enough' to appear legitimate (but not great), however perhaps you mean the characters could have emoted more, particularly the husband, with lots of tears etc. This can work and be amazing, but if it fails, it normally fails big time- i erred on the side of caution in his performance, (a restrained performance) that i think works better.
Im not sure what kind of music you think would have been more appropriate? However i can experiment with an orchestral score from Naxos that i have permission to use. But using a big 'theatrical' movie orchestra, is a very 'mainstream' commercial /drama sound that is not always appropriate for dramatic short films imo.
Obviously having music such as say a band, with lyrics etc, i think is definately a bad idea, because then the 'short film' would appear more like a music video.
So what music would ya have gone with, (now that uve perhaps watched the entire film hehe) cos as 1 filmmaker to another, im curious what you would consider an improvement.
Finally you said the film was 'not special', why is that? in what context For such a blase statement, i presume (since it was not sarcastic right...) hehe, that it had a purpose or... meaning? I don't consider mine 'special' whatever such a subjective term means hehe, but what did you mean?
Im not sure what kind of music you think would have been more appropriate? However i can experiment with an orchestral score from Naxos that i have permission to use. But using a big 'theatrical' movie orchestra, is a very 'mainstream' commercial /drama sound that is not always appropriate for dramatic short films imo.
Obviously having music such as say a band, with lyrics etc, i think is definately a bad idea, because then the 'short film' would appear more like a music video.
So what music would ya have gone with, (now that uve perhaps watched the entire film hehe) cos as 1 filmmaker to another, im curious what you would consider an improvement.
Finally you said the film was 'not special', why is that? in what context
For such a blase statement, i presume (since it was not sarcastic right...) hehe, that it had a purpose or... meaning? I don't consider mine 'special' whatever such a subjective term means hehe, but what did you mean? deleted
Last edited by ctbullet on Tue May 16, 2006 8:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Our Combat Years: In production
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http://wolfvisionp.tripod.com
as for the acting,
i'm thinking the main characters were fine, its was the extra that weren't convincing enough, when the soldiers were patrolling near the beginning they didn't having a patrolling persona if you know what i mean, it just wasn't convincing, for being a russian soldier in chechneya (sorry for the spelling) i wouldn't expect them to be as laid back as they appeared, i'm just trying to think how it could be improved....maybe have some shakeiness in the stances and and gun holding, if i come up with anything to emphasize this point i'll post it
music wise, i'll look into it, maybe get a friend who plays the guitar to do something similar to what you have yet play it faster, the speed seems to add tension, if i think of a specific person i'll also post it
sorry if i've waffled on
i'm thinking the main characters were fine, its was the extra that weren't convincing enough, when the soldiers were patrolling near the beginning they didn't having a patrolling persona if you know what i mean, it just wasn't convincing, for being a russian soldier in chechneya (sorry for the spelling) i wouldn't expect them to be as laid back as they appeared, i'm just trying to think how it could be improved....maybe have some shakeiness in the stances and and gun holding, if i come up with anything to emphasize this point i'll post it
music wise, i'll look into it, maybe get a friend who plays the guitar to do something similar to what you have yet play it faster, the speed seems to add tension, if i think of a specific person i'll also post it
sorry if i've waffled on
Our Combat Years: In production
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http://wolfvisionp.tripod.com
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Lawriejaffa
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Okay CtBullet, well i think ive maybe highlighted something to you about your criticism. For what was really pretty blunt in your first post, (in short that it sucked) when asked to expand on your crit, there really quite vague, ambiguis and very subjective points... So there not really qualified are they?
Don't get me wrong, i think arguably your right, certainly in a more subjective form (which is fine.) I just think you should have started with the crit statement above, rather than with your first post (that was er attempting to draw blood.)
So you can be polite after all see and constructive!!!
Just think yourself lucky ct-bullet, that you hadn't said such a blaze statement to gyro! He's way more sensitive, he would have come after you in his shiney service uniform!!!! anyway peace bro and thanx for the crit
Don't get me wrong, i think arguably your right, certainly in a more subjective form (which is fine.) I just think you should have started with the crit statement above, rather than with your first post (that was er attempting to draw blood.)
So you can be polite after all see and constructive!!!
Just think yourself lucky ct-bullet, that you hadn't said such a blaze statement to gyro! He's way more sensitive, he would have come after you in his shiney service uniform!!!!
anyway peace bro and thanx for the crit -
britishbulldog
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hmmmm while i thought the film was good: music seemed to fit the sort of russian style culture, and i thought it was a good story and well pieced together
YOU REALLY TICK ME OFF
where the heck did you get that much uniform from (relating to the other thread)
you have a derelict housing estate right next to you ITS A FILM DIRECTORS DREAM!!!!!!!
plus you have an army of extras
and you have 20 pairs of boots
can you tell me how much money you spent on all this stuff before i choke on my own rage
AND WORST OF ALL YOU MAKE A FILM ABOUT MUSLIM TERRORISTS POTRAYING THEM IN A GOOD WAY
but still LOVED IT
YOU REALLY TICK ME OFF
where the heck did you get that much uniform from (relating to the other thread)
you have a derelict housing estate right next to you ITS A FILM DIRECTORS DREAM!!!!!!!
plus you have an army of extras
and you have 20 pairs of boots
can you tell me how much money you spent on all this stuff before i choke on my own rage
AND WORST OF ALL YOU MAKE A FILM ABOUT MUSLIM TERRORISTS POTRAYING THEM IN A GOOD WAY
but still LOVED IT
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Lawriejaffa
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Hey Bulldog thanx man, well the uniforms i get from doing photography for military wholesalers, in exchange i get money or credit (usually x2 the credit for what id get in cash) so then i spend it on getting outfits basically.
I mean im really into military history and i find things like uniforms, other countries etc fascinating, so i really want to try films that take place abroad (doesnt mean ill do it good tho lol)
Getting extras is really hard, for this short i didnt have much time but as usual i just grovelled grovelled.
The derelict housing estate is cool but a scary place to film in, i had some 'community wardens' escort us, since filming there 2 of those buildings have burnt down!
Yup hopefully we'll soon have 30 pairs of boots tho yey!
Yeah i know the muslim guy does come across a little 'better' than the ol' ruskies on this occasion, but hey next time it can be the other way around!
Don't choke on your rage!!! I get the coats for about £10 each, tunics 5 each, and trousers 8 each, but thing is these are wholesale prices for traders and all that kind of stuff, consumer wise it would cost probably x2 - x8 in cost. (this is grossly unfair, and is definately where the USA has much fairer surplus prices than the UK)
And you loved it! Well thanx man, im working on a tighter edit, and 1 with different soundtrack that im hosting soon.
If your ever about in scotland let me know, cos i can always do with an extra soldier!
I mean im really into military history and i find things like uniforms, other countries etc fascinating, so i really want to try films that take place abroad (doesnt mean ill do it good tho lol)
Getting extras is really hard, for this short i didnt have much time but as usual i just grovelled grovelled.
The derelict housing estate is cool but a scary place to film in, i had some 'community wardens' escort us, since filming there 2 of those buildings have burnt down!
Yup hopefully we'll soon have 30 pairs of boots tho yey!
Yeah i know the muslim guy does come across a little 'better' than the ol' ruskies on this occasion, but hey
next time it can be the other way around! Don't choke on your rage!!! I get the coats for about £10 each, tunics 5 each, and trousers 8 each, but thing is these are wholesale prices for traders and all that kind of stuff, consumer wise it would cost probably x2 - x8 in cost. (this is grossly unfair, and is definately where the USA has much fairer surplus prices than the UK)
And you loved it! Well thanx man, im working on a tighter edit, and 1 with different soundtrack that im hosting soon.
If your ever about in scotland let me know, cos i can always do with an extra soldier!
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britishbulldog
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phew, thats not a terrible amount more than i payed for mine i averaged about 10 pounds per top and 8 pounds per trousers when buying for my film and it cost us £600 altogether, just the boots I've had a real problem with, in the fact that there so dammed expensive
did you have a problem with getting your extras to stop messing around (mine messed around so much i had armed response called)
did you have a problem with getting your extras to stop messing around (mine messed around so much i had armed response called)