Proven: Dreams of Redemption

asapfilms · Post by **asapfilms** » Mon Jun 27, 2005 7:42 pm

Just got my winter flick uploaded. Check it out and give me some feedback.
www.asapfilms.com/videos/provendr1.wmv

Heres a plot summery of Proven: DoR
When a vicious attack by foreign invaders ends up killing the young Price of Merril. His older brother, Darus Grift and his young apprentice Robin hood, venture out to find the hidden Dark Legions moving accross the land of Merril. This search will soon prove to be a quest for Redemption as that Darus blames himself for his brothers death.
Im filming the battle-action packed, emotional sequel this summer called Proven: Promise of Power. It skips a few months and starts with the attack on the city of Merril...as stated in the beggining of DoR. Anyways, watch this video, and give me some helpful feedback to make the sequel better! Thanks

Clarence · Post by **Clarence** » Mon Jun 27, 2005 9:36 pm

Downloading...

asapfilms · Post by **asapfilms** » Wed Jun 29, 2005 12:29 am

no feedback guys, come on...

theChad · Post by **theChad** » Wed Jun 29, 2005 1:48 am

It was an interesting to say the least. I'm impressed with the fact that you got people to dress up and learn lines! very good job.
That said it kind of lacked something for me. I think the last battle scene, you obviously did what you could with what you had, but maybe some tighter close ups and what not just to keep things moving, instead of switching between the two guys killing other guys off screen, you know? And for a few of your scenes with just straight dialogue you might have done to much cutting from close up to close up. Breaking stuff with up with medium shots or even a wide shot would make everything less "in your face"

oh and if you are going to do sub titles....black on white please. Not white on white, cuz you can't read em.

Good job, makes me want to attempt something epic.

Buffalob07 · Post by **Buffalob07** » Wed Jun 29, 2005 4:37 am

Great film, I thought you did an excellent job for what you have.

Adam · Post by **Adam** » Wed Jun 29, 2005 5:51 am

Really Good, Lots of effort.

The bird sound effect gets in the way of some of the dialogue try reducing the level.
It is only in one shot but you have a corugated metal roof showing in an inrerior shot, try cutting it out.

asapfilms · Post by **asapfilms** » Wed Jun 29, 2005 2:38 pm

thanks guys for the feedback, it all is very good advice, but I dont know where the bird sound is you're talking about Adam? What were the actors doing?

maj_barnes · Post by **maj_barnes** » Wed Jun 29, 2005 9:02 pm

I enjoyed it, usally I don't like these kind of movies, but it was enjoyable.

The thing that bothered me was that it kept showing the same blood stock for each cut. Why don't you try using different ones. (Although the slow motion cut to the stomach was cool!).

asapfilms · Post by **asapfilms** » Wed Jun 29, 2005 11:59 pm

Im glad you enjoyed it! I was wondering when someone would coment on the blood though, I noticed that being very constant, I tried to resize it a lot but I couldnt change that it was the same file. I would have made a different one for every stab but I have no clue how, a guy named Elipson or something gave me the file... I took a lot of the bloods out because it looked so repeditive but I left the major ones in there... For the sequel I plan to use a blue screen and splash paint on it for all the blood splash effects and for the close up probably will look into some kind of blood packet...although, Im not going for gore...

maj_barnes · Post by **maj_barnes** » Thu Jun 30, 2005 12:37 am

Yea I have the same stock.

Try making some in Adobe Photoshop, I've been messing around in there and it seems to be going good. It's just that you have to get the disapation (sp?) just right.

Why not gore? Usally when you get cut in the stomach you tend to be disemboweled. But I can understand if it wasn't over the top gore. But not always in a sword fight, people just get cut and stabbed, you know?

ZombieKrieg2005 · Post by **ZombieKrieg2005** » Thu Jun 30, 2005 12:11 pm

Excellent. I didnt really notice the blood similarities till i read this post, may just me being blind. liked the filming of the battle scene at the end. Again excellent film

asapfilms · Post by **asapfilms** » Fri Jul 01, 2005 3:41 am

Thanks for you comments Zombie but Im surprized you liked the battle scene. If there is one thing I would do different, its those scenes when he's fighting the whole army. Those angles were cheap and cheesy, I just rushed through them... None of those last few scenes were choregraphed, For the sequel Im deffinatly going to choregraph them all. That was just lazy on my part.

reflexive_cinematics · Fri Jul 01, 2005 3:04 pm

pretty cool stuff.

Buffalob07 · Post by **Buffalob07** » Sun Jul 03, 2005 3:58 am

I think the prince that got killed in the flashback had too small of a part. He was a good actor, you should of gave him a bigger part. Just a suggestion.

asapfilms · Post by **asapfilms** » Mon Jul 04, 2005 3:36 pm

You think so, its kindof weird, because your username is actually the same as his email... James, is that you, what, it is...Cool! You'll have some part in the next one Jamesdont worry, its gonna be hard to bring your charactor back after he gets stabed 20 times though...

Buffalob07 · Post by **Buffalob07** » Tue Jul 05, 2005 3:11 am

I was just joking, I think my part was fine.

Adam · Post by **Adam** » Tue Jul 05, 2005 11:00 pm

asapfilms wrote:thanks guys for the feedback, it all is very good advice, but I dont know where the bird sound is you're talking about Adam? What were the actors doing?

It was an interior shot with the barn and the two actors we sitting from the beat off my memory. I have to download it again to check as I've lost it.

asapfilms · Post by **asapfilms** » Thu Jul 07, 2005 12:46 am

Alright, thanks, I'll watch the sound Fx next time!

DEDFX · Post by **DEDFX** » Thu Jul 07, 2005 1:26 am

I skimmed through it and the titles were good and the overall movie was prety good, what was the song in the end? I've heard it before.

asapfilms · Post by **asapfilms** » Thu Jul 07, 2005 1:40 pm

...halo II theme song

Kentertainment · Post by **Kentertainment** » Tue Jul 19, 2005 5:02 am

Very nice. The acting was good for amateur standards, the editing, music, and cinematography was great. I liked the mid-battle scene the best because everything was put as a real battle should be. When you see movies like Lord of the Rings they do these very nice moves to kill everyone, in your battle they all just swang their sword and hoped for the best. Just a super small flaw I saw though, at the very end when they carry his body his sword is touching the guys wrist, a real battle sword would be so sharp that it probably would have cut him. The one thing I didn't like was the blood, you should have gone the extra mile and made it real. One question, when it says "To be continued" is that a sound effect or part of the song?

Good Job, I rate it: A-

asapfilms · Post by **asapfilms** » Tue Jul 19, 2005 12:44 pm

Kent, lol, you are very observent, the rist thing, I never saw that, no one else ever saw that...You are right though, good eyes... Thanks for the comments, you give good constructive feedback. For the sequel (which is going to be more on its own then completly connected to the first one, we are using a real blood (well fake real) but not for every scene like the last one. And at the end with the to be continued, its not a sound effect I cut it out of a braveheart song. Its just a drum hit or something like that... Thanks
heres the trailer for the film if you havent seen it yet...
www.asapfilms.com/videos/proven1trailer1.wmv

Lawriejaffa · Post by **Lawriejaffa** » Sat Aug 06, 2005 10:37 am

Hi there!

Well I'm giving a little late feedback here cos this film was posted a wee while ago, but i t was sso different to other things posted that i thought it would be alll cool.

This film imo has some distinct flaws that i'll mention, but it is made with such effort that its commendable and has so much potential.

The director of this film i feel must be a very committed individual, to get so many guys out there to make a historical film (a very difficult film to make.)

So then, the story and script, essentially while a little clunky (in the focus it gives to some scenes over others and the dialogue) is in general, succinct, it is 'stable' which for 30mins of story is i think an achievment that many of my own colleagues would struggle with!

So the dialogue, was in part improvised? part written? In any case, the use of modern words such as 'guys and okay' detracts, while also the nature of conversations were somewhat modern in their appearance.

I would consider being careful with dialogue wording to weed out such phrases, and to use straight forward universally known words. (normally actors in the uk will perform these in what is called the RP accent, generic english, that sounds quite 'clear')

It might be wise to check that out, and consider having your actors perform that way, to avoid having such distinct regional accents that (canadian?) contrast painfully with the european settings. (or UK)

Costumes and such like, i'd consider when stealing ur moms fur coat etc., (if u can) matting the fur down, so its not so 'fluffy' basically i am also doing a viking film soon, so email me and ill give u my crazy viking costume masterplan that might help.

Actors, need more rehearsals, (some were good though) get more age variety if you can, they were all young.

The fighting was fine for u guys obviously havent done stage fighting but for most i don't think it would be that noticeable (so kudos to u, cos i teach stage fighting so eek)

So overall an ambitious and great start, my last critique is to the music, much was ripped from films. You guys have put soo much effort to get this far, don't spoil it by getting your film 'sanctioned' for copyright.

If you need help with music i can give you advice on PD available music,

So overall damn great, ambitious, theres lots to be done, but from such a creative and ambitious team of guys, with such a crazy director, i really look forward to seeing what comes next.

asapfilms · Post by **asapfilms** » Sat Aug 06, 2005 2:54 pm

..and I thought this thread was forgotten about. First off, I lov you Lawriejaffa...(it be easier to say if you were female.) Not in a weird way but it's true, you are what this forum and all film making forums need, a critical viewer/maker. You don't just discourage with rude comments, instead you give very helpful feedback which I thank you very much for and will take you up on some of it (Music problem mostly!!)
As for your comments, they are about 98% correct. Only the fire pit scene and the scenes with the bad guys on the snow hill were scripted completely. All the rest was saddly improvised... And you were close, it wasnt my mothers fur coat, it was a fur coat bought from walmart. And saddly...all the music was taken from other movies... However, where I got you, was with the big army. I had a lot of actors/extras but no where near the 120 people you see standing there... That was a keying trick I developed from the cloning technique... I guess Im sort of crazy for even trying that but I think it came out very good for just a radical idea I thought might work.
Some regrets I have that you sort of mentioned is the fighting... I love to do the big fight sequences....and this movie builds up to a fight between one man vs a whole army...and then is crapped out in a improvised sword swinging whatever with some digital blood being thrown in there every once in a while. I disappointed myself by rushing things...

However... You may remember the to be continued at the end... I am happy to say that this coming monday and tuesday we will begin filming Proven II (Promise of Power) and not only is all the dialoge written out and revised but every scene is just completely spelled out. We have devoted tons more time to a pretty big Wall which will be the Wall of Merril (you can look at it here -> www.asapfilms.com/provenpics.html )
I have purchased a huge blue screen measureing 240 square feet, (indie film style, 'super cheap'). All the fight scenes (massive and 1 v. 1) have been completely choreographed! (that tooka while) Im calling myself crazy now, this film is really an insane thing to try and do but Im trying it anyways. The film expands the country side, instead of staying with the one hero like the last film. Showing the city of Merril (local renaissance festival) through areal shots (some how I got a helicopter for this film to get some nice shots). The charactors are no longer just good or bad but complex, with different pasts, different loves (War, Peace, Weman, Power, etc...). It really is going to be my film of the year...well unless I do something better within the next 4 months...

Now my only problem is music... I love soundtrack music, Braveheart, Troy, King Aurther, Alexander, Kingdom of Heaven. And all of them have great songs for this type of movie... But you're right, copyrighting will catch up to me... What can I do. 2 really good bands in my school want to help us with soundtracks but the problem is they do rock and roll music, with acustic gitars...and that will sound out of place in a film in the dark ages... Can you help me? Or do you know how to get permission to use the copyrighted music?

Thanks for the great feedback, it was worth the wait!! And I promise I wont let my actors use words like ("Ya'Know", "Guys", "Cell Phone", Etc...)

Crazy director
Sam Avery

ps - I dont know if you saw this already but heres the trailer -> www.asapfilms.com/videos/proven1trailer1.wmv

Lawriejaffa · Post by **Lawriejaffa** » Sat Aug 06, 2005 8:46 pm

*wipes eyes* thats my boy!

Thats great, its never easy to accept any advice or criticism, even when we ask for people to give it! Well, I am going to email you our own research we have done for the viking film, perhaps it might help? I am considering making a very basic graphic choreography manual for melee and spear fighting, (this could be copied and practiced) It would be an effort, ill see if any in the forum want it lol!

As for music, there are many ways, im actually away on business, (im so sad to keep checking these forums tho ha!) When im back, on a normal computer, ill type u an email with a how too of music, and i am CERTAIN we can cure all the copyright issues for your future music use, cos there are many ways to getting that solved

Upping the ante, that is making things better and better with every production is vital, and you are doing that, from lessons learned, thats great (thats what im trying to do too! lol

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Proven: Dreams of Redemption

Proven: Dreams of Redemption

RE: Proven: Dreams of Redemption

RE: Proven: Dreams of Redemption

RE: Proven: Dreams of Redemption