Short Film (needs some ideas)

DynamiteProductions · Post by **DynamiteProductions** » Sat Apr 23, 2005 8:15 pm

iight this is far from done...
Takes place around 7-8 at night on a Saturday
(Opening scene around the town with credits)
-Shows my friends in a car coming up to my house
"is Brian home?"
"Hey what's up guys.. let me get my things i'll be out in a minute"
(parents)Brian u've been home passed your curview 3-4 times this week alone...and well if you come home late tonight (slow motion-face shot) "Your Grounded"
"okay mom, i'll be home"
"i mean it brian one minute after 12 and ur gunna be spending the rest of ur vacation indoors"
"okay okay i promise i wont"
(goes to my friends and I bowling) Joking around having a good time... ( to show the time passing i take sevreal shots of the pins getting knocked down n us talking with music playing)
the we leave there and start all singing in the car but we can't sing for our life
(This is were i'm kinda stuck) so figure after 2 more shots we end up back in the car and i look at the clock... then the camera goes to my mom looking at the clock and it's 11:55
so weere racing to get home and finally after everything happens and ew went through soo much to get home my mom is asleep and its 12:01 and "i go wow that was a close 1" (while leaning up against the wall) then i walk to my room and shut my door and it goes black
"brian your grounded!"
THE END

Mr.Anderson · Post by **Mr.Anderson** » Sat Apr 23, 2005 8:31 pm

thats a pretty narrow plot, add in some subplots like one of your friends gets in trouble or something, they steal something. Just something. I know you said youre not done yet and all but maybe show all of your friends and their parents and how they're reacting.

windog · Post by **windog** » Tue Apr 26, 2005 5:48 pm

what are you going to atcheve with the slow motion shot?

Famous · Post by **Famous** » Wed Apr 27, 2005 11:07 pm

Hes probably trying to acheive the intensity of the shot... Remember back when u were a little guy. GROUNDED WAS A REALLY BAD THING...

Maybe your dad could be driving and run into you, and you catch your dad doing somthing bad and he catches you sneaking out. You guys negociate a deal, which is good for a quick laugh.

windog · Post by **windog** » Sat May 14, 2005 10:00 am

I am in the UK, we dont have grounding over here!

Adam · Post by **Adam** » Sat May 14, 2005 9:04 pm

Why dont you exapnd it and have a whole sequence of dramantic and improbable events. Then when you are grounded at the end of the film it will be kinda funny.

Vor · Post by **Vor** » Tue May 17, 2005 4:03 am

those crazy uk people....

maj_barnes · Post by **maj_barnes** » Tue May 17, 2005 4:07 am

Somebody should get shot for good measure.

windog · Post by **windog** » Tue May 17, 2005 7:46 am

if someone gets hit, show it 3 times really fast.

maj_barnes · Post by **maj_barnes** » Tue May 17, 2005 12:27 pm

Why not 4?

windog · Post by **windog** » Tue May 17, 2005 5:34 pm

4 them. but 3 is traditional!!!!

maj_barnes · Post by **maj_barnes** » Wed May 18, 2005 12:35 am

WHATEVER! IT'S JUST LAZY!

windog · Post by **windog** » Wed May 18, 2005 8:29 am

your lazy! All your small video above are really bad loops!!!

maj_barnes · Post by **maj_barnes** » Thu May 19, 2005 12:39 am

It's an avatar and a sig, it's suppost to do that!

windog · Post by **windog** » Thu May 19, 2005 8:07 am

bad loops....

OutcastJiob · Post by **OutcastJiob** » Thu May 19, 2005 8:12 am

Dude go complain somewhere else. You're taking the thread completely off-topic, and not only that, onto a topic that should be covered through PM or IMs. Besides. maj barne's loops are fine. They do exactly what they're supposed to do. Now quit it!

DynamiteProductions, flesh out your idea and I think you have a pretty entertaining premise!

Jasonrocks · Post by **Jasonrocks** » Thu May 26, 2005 5:09 pm

windog, maj barnes can you too get back on topic, or just go away and argue over bad video loops somewhere else anyways back on topic, it's a simple (But thats not a bad thing) story with a funny ending. I like it!

Lord_Morpheus · Post by **Lord_Morpheus** » Tue Jun 14, 2005 9:28 pm

I think it's a pretty good premise, reminds me of Ferris Bueller, is that where it's coming from? At any rate, I think that a cool ending would have the characters racing through the city or whatever to get home, Mom's looking at the clock, etc., then we see an analog clock with the minute hand moving toward 12:00, then passing it. Finally, the lead gets home and opens the door VERY QUIETLY and sneaks to his room. There's maybe a light on in his mom's room and the door's ajar, so he peaks in. She's asleep. So, quietly, he gets ready for bed and walks over to it, noticing the clock saying 12:01. He sits down silently and goes "whew" and somehow mom hears him and yells "you're grounded". Like, basically he goes through all this stuff and the tiniest thing gives him away.

Meade87 · Post by **Meade87** » Wed Jun 15, 2005 1:28 am

I agree with /\Lord Morpheus
A Ferris Beuler type concept would make it more interesting. And if you have bump into other characters such as parents on his race to his house that he just barely gets out of by them not seeing that makes the ending of him getting grounded over 1 minute as even more humorous. Also You can make it more and more suspensful durring his obstacle course of getting home. by simply cutting back and forth to the clock and back to him.
Also, the singing in the car concept and everything... Maybe you and your friends do that. However, its comes off as feminine and with a male lead makes things quite questionable. I can see you want a nice short film that is straight to the point. Go wild with it.

mickcar73 · Post by **mickcar73** » Fri Jun 24, 2005 5:35 pm

How about his mother is samuel l jackson and ben stiller as the genie. Samuel l jackson puts a chip in brians head. then he must reach the temple of osiris by 12 before the genie activates the synchron system. ps theres a twist, brians best friend is trapped in jumanji featuring dr grant as the crazy proffeser.

mickcar73 · Post by **mickcar73** » Fri Jun 24, 2005 5:35 pm

How about his mother is samuel l jackson and ben stiller as the genie. Samuel l jackson puts a chip in brians head. then he must reach the temple of osiris by 12 before the genie activates the synchron system. ps theres a twist, brians best friend is trapped in jumanji featuring dr grant as the crazy proffeser.

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Short Film (needs some ideas)

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