New VERY Short Film Script

[MadCowFilms]

Ok, this is an Idea I've had for a while and I've just finished the script. It basically describes my life (without the filming and without showing the love for Nintendo). Here it is:

SATRURDAY

INT. JAKE’s House (Kitchen) – Day

A boy (JAKE) picks up a pepper and an onion from the vegetable rack and takes them to the kitchen. JAKE starts throwing them up in the air and dancing with them. He drops the onion on the floor.

JAKE
s***!

He picks up the onion and puts it on the work top. He tries to get down the wok, but he can’t reach. He grabs a chair and climbs up it to get the wok. He gets it, but it clatters on the cooker.

JAKE
f***!

He moves the wok, but the handle of it hits the toaster causing it to make a sound.

JAKE
s***!

JAKE looks at the table and sees a bag of potatoes.

JAKE
Potatoes?

Fade to Titles (apart from the main title (“Saturdayâ€

[ctbullet]

got a rather foul mouth for an 11 year old, shocking stuff...

is there a moral or message to this short is it a comedy i couldn't tell

[OutcastJiob]

Haha! I was laughing. The whole feel of it reminds me heavily of some of Ornsack's sketches. (that's a compliment!)

"Potatoes?" ahaha. So random.

I'd watch it. Definitely.

[Zac]

thats pretty funny, cept for the answwering machine bit was ripped off family guy, but yeh...

[MadCowFilms]

Yeah... But I say it all the time in real life when I can't be bothered to partake in a conversation

[smokeythebear]

i wish it had more conflict but i just the the chick scene

[MadCowFilms]

Anyways, I'm filming this today so wish me luck

[MadCowFilms]

Great. I can't film it now because Rob's cancelled; He wants to go any watch the Rugby. Anyway, I'm going round a friends house later adn we might make a horror film there. Ooooooo! SCARY!

[Jperson]

Nice! Visit the forum: www.onstoryline.com/tiniteforum. Now! (That wasn't and advert!)

[naflish]

i think if its suppose to be funny, then u must hv a very cute, innocence
little actor to play this...and talented to...gee..tats hard to get isnt it.

[Jperson]

Comedy? Oh, I didn't realise...

[Clarence]

Haha! I was laughing. The whole feel of it reminds me heavily of some of Ornsack's sketches. (that's a compliment!)

lol, even Ornsack's sketches don't have that many swears per minute!

Honestly, I just don't get this script. I suppose it might be funnier if I saw it in film...but it seems a little too random. What the heck is the point?

[Mr.Anderson]

Some of the things the main character does just kind of makes him annoying. You don't really sympathize with him, because you think he's kind of a twit. Parts are funny though. I say you should develop the girl scene further, not necessarily make it into a romantic pursuit, but just develop that scene. Good potential for a pretty funny conversation.