SWAT script Scenes 1-4

[F.F.F.]

This is the first four scenes of a film I'm writting. Tell me what you think.

Scene 1

At Rise: Two detectives stand outside of a door talking.

Jerry
Okay, you sure this is the place?

Smith
Yeah, we’ve been following these guys for months. They’re the main distributors to the entire city! We’re gonna get ‘em. And maybe a couple kilos of you-know-what for ourselves!

Jerry
Well, I hope you’re right…

Smith
Hey, don’t worry about it! And let me do all the talking.
(Two knock on door, door man answers)

Doorman
What do you want!?

Smith
Is Johnny Balboa here?

Doorman
Who wants to know?

Jerry
Tell ‘em-
(Smith shushes Jerry)

Smith
Tell Mr. Balboa, Smith is here.
(Doorman leaves)

Smith
I told you to let me do all the talking

Jerry
Sorry sir
(Doorman comes back)

Doorman
Come in.
(As they walk up the stairs, they bump into shady character, they see his face and bizarre scar.)

Jerry
Hey, that guy looked familiar!

Smith
Yeah, I recognized that scar…Probably just a familiar face.

Johnny Balboa
There you are Smith, glad to see you again. And who’s this?

Jerry
I’m-
(Smith cuts Jerry off)

Smith
THIS is my associate, Jerry.

Johnny Balboa
Nice to meet you, Jerry. Now let’s get down to business. Do you have the money?

Smith
Yes, but we’re gonna have to see some merchandise first.

Johnny Balboa
Alright, Show him the stuff.
(Doorman leaves room comes back with briefcase, opens it revealing drugs.)

Smith
Looks pretty good. Jerry, show him the money.
(Jerry puts briefcase on table, opens it revealing money.)

Johnny Balboa
Looks good, so why do you boys go to so much trouble to get this stuff? Don’t you know it’s bad for your health?

Smith
We just like to party.

Johnny Balboa
What do you take me for, some kind of idiot?
(Stabs knife into table)


Smith
What do you mean?

Johnny Balboa
Don’t play dumb with me! I know you’re cops.
Jerry
But how did you-

Johnny Balboa
Save it! Take ‘em out boys!
(Smith and jerry reach for their guns, Thugs shoot Smith and jerry. Johnny balboa stands over dead bodies.)
I told you drugs were bad for your health.
(He sits)
Get them out of my sight.

(Cut to exterior. Mole leaves building)

Sergeant Thompson
We have a situation here.

END

Scene 2

At Rise: Swat team is being briefed on mission, at police station.

Captain Pierce
Approximately two nights ago, two under cover agents infiltrated the head quarters of Johnny Balboa who as you all know is of the infamous red wolves. The red wolves are responsible for more than half of the illegal narcotics in this city at the current time. They have a small army of thugs and guards that are heavily armed with the top of the line weapons. There are going to be a worthy opponent to us. They are a low lives and lunatics. Although they have the upper hand in the weapons department we have better training and more experience. Any questions before I tell you the entry plan?

Private John Gregory
What kind of weapons are we talking about here?

Captain Pierce
Anything and every thing they can get their hands on.
And there’s been a lot cheap weapons floating around ever since the fall of the wall. Alright then this is how it’s going to happen, we will enter the building through two entry points. Private Fox and Sergeant Thompson will enter from the back and infiltrate the warehouse and capture and thugs you encounter. Private Gregory and I will enter from the west side of the building and meet you inside, where we will capture Johnny Balboa and his goons.
All clear?

Sergeant Ryan Thompson
When is this all going down?

Captain Pierce
Tomorrow night at midnight, so you boys better get some sleep.

Private John Gregory
Just exactly how many of these “Thugsâ€

[JackBauerII]

I think the story is too basic to become a movie that will involve suiting up a bunch of guys in full SWAT attire if that's what you intend to do. The dialogue needs work, as does the story. If I were you, I would read it again and ask, would someone really say that? In some of the situations you create here, some of the lines just don't fit. Keep working.

[F.F.F.]

This was'nt supposed to to be the most realistic script. I was going for ,more of a bruce lee movie or Batman style dialogue. And the story gets MUCH more complicated.