Hey there, this is the first few scenes for me NOOE film (Nazi occupation of England if you haven't guessed by now). Tell me what you think (but be nice, lol), this is still a massive work in progress, my main issues are the limit on locations, props, money, costume and characters - so the same as any amature film maker. But i really am trying to do this as tightly as possible.
INT. ATTIC - DAY
WILLIAM is sitting in the corner of his attic with a book on his lap, he is writing something down on a brand new page with a very ornate looking pen.
WILLIAM (V.O.)
To whoever may read this in the future please heed these words for they are most probably the only which will say what i have to say.
William stops writing and looks down at what he's just written, with a look of vague disgust he crosses it out.
WILLIAM
Too poetic, this needs to be historical...
He looks down at the page again and carefully tears out the page and places it down beside him.
WILLIAM
And neat
WILLIAM (V.O.)
December 6th 1936, once month after Franklin D. Roosevelt was elected in to his second term as the president of the USA, he was involved in an unfortunate accident which lead to him being rushed into hospital with what was described at the time as "near fatal head wounds" by a White House spokesman. At oh-seven thirty...
(beat)
WILLIAM
Hmm
William picks up a newspaper and flicks over to the second page,
WILLIAM
Ah yes...
WILLIAM (V.O.)
At oh-seven thirty two pacific standard time the 32nd president of the USA was declared dead by officials. The government moved fast and elected a new president Henry A. Wallace. However Wallace was more liberal than Roosevelt and following the suspicious circumstances surrounding his death, the American government were less than willing to jump in and aid the United Kingdom in it's conflict with Germany which stared 3 years later. Without the aid from the USA the Allied forces the Nazi...
WILLIAM
War machine...? Yes, thats it.
WILLIAM (V.O.)
The Nazi war machine was making slow progress through Europe. The killing blow was the German U-Boats which hounded the United Kingdom's supply routes. Without US air support the Royal Navy was unable to hunt down the U-boats, and by 1942 the UK supplies were running dangerously low.
While William is speaking we see a montage of archive footage of the battle of the Atlantic. After William stops speaking we watch the footage play out for about 30seconds.
Fade out:
INT. ATTIC - EVENING
William is crouched under an old oil lantern in his attic with books scattered around him. He flicks through the pages of a book and then places it back on the floor, then he picks up a pile of typed pages (done on a typewriter) and stops half way through.
He places them down in front of him and picks up his journal again and with his ornate pen he begins to write again.
WILLIAM (V.O.)
With the lack of supplies the government encouraged the populous to stay faithful to the war effort. Moral was low and the propergander being produced by the government was wearing thin. Oswold Mosley and other former members of the BUF began spreading their influence across the UK again. And soon it wasn't long until people realised that there was a way out of this situation. Government backbenchers and other officials put tremendous pressure on Church to sign a non-aggression pack with Germany, but unsurprising he declined this option.
Images of Churchill speaking in public play whilst William is speaking.
WILLIAM (V.O.)
But this decision wasn't overly popular with most people, there wasn't seen as much worse than siding with Hitler apart from threat of starvation and possibly, invasion.
The images changes to footage of members of the public on public rallies, telling Churchill to step down.
WILLIAM (V.O.)
It wasn't long until Churchill obliged his critics and stepped down, warning that siding with the Nazi's would be putting Hitler into the position to take Europe.
We see stills of the letters and and calls for resignation written by members of parliament and even members of public.
WILLIAM (V.O.)
Gerald Theobold took power with a small majority vote. A known sympathizer of Nationalists, it was clear he would end the conflicts with Germany and end the U-Boat strangle hold.
fade out:
EXT. COUNTRY SIDE - MORNING
William is walking by himself in the morning light, the only sound is the wind blowing gently through the trees. He walks up to the top of a hill and then looks out over the fields surrounding him.
WILLIAM (V.O.)
Such peace... in such a place you could almost forget everything, loose yourself in the morning light.
William starts walking again, across the fields
WILLIAM (V.O.)
My mother used to walk me through these fields, such a strong woman - my father did not like that, not many people did; especially the Nazi's. She was one of the first British women to overtly oppose the National Socialist Woman hood, or NSF. She was asked to back down many times by the state, friends and even by my father who had written a letter from serving with the army.
An image of the letter fades in.
JAMES (V.O.)
Dearest Joan, news has reached me which i didn't enjoy hearing. People are saying that you are opposing the new rule and the NSF. I want you to stop this nonsense now, we agreed that you would co-operate with the state while i was gone. What you are doing is very dangerous Joan, you do not want to push the government too far. I hope you and the boy are well, Yours faithfully, James.
The image of the letter fades out again, William carries on walking down the field.
WILLIAM (V.O.)
My father was right, it was very dangerous. But my mother, being my mother, she ignored his requests and carried on opposing the NSF. Early one morning about 14 months ago she got a call from a pair of SS agents. I was out walking and i returned home to find her gone, but our neighbors said that she'd been taken by two uniformed officers
(beat)
She hasn't been seen since...
Fade out:
Nazi Occupation of England - First few scenes
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RE: Nazi Occupation of England - First few scenes
That was pretty good. Well written, and you seem to have put some time in to creating a realistic, historically based alternate world. The only question I have is how you are going to develop the script further. Does William remain an observer telling the history of the situation, or is he some kind of freedom fighter or what? I would like to see more.
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RE: Nazi Occupation of England - First few scenes
I've decided to make him more of an observer documenting what is happening during (and before the Nazi Rule), unfortunatly i'm extremely limited by budget and time (the latter prohibbits fund raising, lol). Because it's set in the 1950's (haven't got an exact date), all my sets need to be 50's, which is really not an easy thing to do (hense the attic and the fields so far), i would have probally written nearer 50pages by now if locations and props weren't an issue when shooting. Although it does mean i have to be slightly more 'arty', a higher budget might tempt me into introducing action elements - although it would be nice to have 2 SS officers with weapons to harras William. I suppose i could write it and sell it to someone...