My World War Two scirpt (help me think up a name)

[Zacatac927]

This is my script hopefully filming in June/july

tell me what you think!!

and if you can think up a name !!!!!

Title/credits

ESTABLISHING SHOT: SLOW CRANE DOWN TO FIELD (credits)

JOHN HAMILL:

The year was 1945, and the World was at war.

FLASH TO SCENE OF BATTLE (with credits)

FIELD: AFTERNOON

RETURN TO FIELD SHOT


JOHN HAMILL NARRATING:

Many say that, we were fighting to keep Nazi Germany from taking over Europe. Others say that Roosevelt didn’t want to be left out of the war. But whatever the reason, every man, every boy...had one prayer: to make through alive, and return to their families.


JOHN HAMILL:

In April, the German army appointed a new general. A new, young fresh general, smart and strategic. So the U.S. Military sent four, specially trained men to penetrate enemy lines, and eliminate the new general. This is their story.


GENERAL’S OFFICE US MILITARY

CAMERA FOLLOW MESSENGER DOWN HALLWAY AND THROUGH DOOR WITH THESE WORDS: GENERAL’S OFFICE: US MILITARY

Messenger walks in

MESSENGER

General, (salute) we just received word from C. Seduosy.

GENERAL

Well?

MESSENGER

He reports that he has made it behind enemy lines without incident.

GENERAL

(Motions to map on wall) Show me

MESSENGER AND GENERAL WALK OVER TO MAP


MESSENGER

Well, his last location was right about here

CAMERA ZOOM ON PLACE WHERE MESSENGER IS POINTING

FIELD: EVENING

Fades to the field, long shot from a little below eye-level a C-47 flies over shaking its wings as the signal that all is O.K.


A slow montage of the crossing fields (long shots)

FARM: MORNING

JOHN HAMILL

My brother Mark and I joined the Army for the same reason many did: Glory and Adventure.

(Shot of John and mark working a field on a farm, they stop to watch an army truck rumble by, they both look at each other)

After all, anything was better than sweating on a farm.

FIELD: EVENING

SHOT OF DRAY

The third member of our little group was a boy named Robert Drake, but to us...he was known as “Drayâ€

[UFProductions]

Great short script. Screw any technical/factual errors, the pace carries well through out with a simple storyline wrapped up effectivley for a timely ending. I did notice a marked increase in errors as far as spelling and script structurewent as it progressed however, like you got carried up in the story and typed faster and faster (I'm guilty of the same thing, it's easy to carried away with a good story as it evolves). My only advice is to proof-read it another two times for compositional errors and any changes you feel are necessary, that and take your time shooting it. Done right with good locations you've got a real winner here.

[Zacatac927]

yah i know.... i saw the errors and i was bored so i didn't fix it

[Bullseye]

call it War of the Worlds

[UnkindSky]

Thats been takin for a few decades lol. I thought it was pretty good. Maybe change some of the words in some of the lines to make them flow better. Dont want any lines that are too hard for the actors to read lol. I liked the idea tho! Keep it up! Oh and bout the title... cant think of one

[naflish]

call it Yet Another War Movie

[DarkElastic]

Warring World
Conflict
World of Combat
Oppose

[Bullseye]

call it Yet Another War Movie

LOL! I second that.


call it... Operation Battlefield

[Zacatac927]

any other titles?

[chrisgreen]

The cost of War

sorry, its lame i kno

[Mr.Anderson]

Orders to Kill
No Matter the Cost
The Sad Assasin

Eh, mine are kinda lame, best i can think of for now.

As for the script, decent story, but a few character development flaws. John was crying his eyes out refusing to shoot, Sedousy says like 1 thing then hands him the rifle and then John is just, Sure Ok. Just a few instances like that, use your dialogue more. It seems as though you just padded in lines here and there to keep the story moving. Reveal more about some of your characters with the dialogue. But not too bad of a story though.

[Zacatac927]

ok well i changed it but was too lazy to change it here but Mark dies... johns bro... so seduosy then asks him what would mark saynright now so then he does it

[Zacatac927]

ok ive updated it

[DarkElastic]

War - What is it good for?
Absolutely Nothing
Say it again!

[JackBauerII]

I think that 'clicks' is a term they invented in Vietnam. Nice story line though. Can't think of a title.

[Bodysnatcher]

I think that

I think that 'clicks' is a term they invented in Vietnam. Nice story line though. Can't think of a title.

A click is a term used in the military to denote a Kilometer. there is confusion as some believe (wrongly) that it was a reference to weapons that when ranging onto an enemy target they would adjust the weapons sights by rotating a dial that would 'clik' when turned. (just thought I would throw that in).

[Zacatac927]

ok i see.... sorry!

[ctbullet]

The year was 1945, and America was at war.

this annoyed me soooo much, please change it, the world was at war, thats why it was called world war 2, not american war 2

[Zacatac927]

cr** i am so sorry..... my script organizer cannot change that and i always forget to change it in the post....

will do

[ctbullet]

Names:

*Up in arms
*when called upon
*open war
*my comrades and i
*allied defence

[Zacatac927]

i like them..... but they sound not like my movie..... i have kinda come up with a title "the Last Shot"


yah tell me what you think.... cause it was the last shot in the war.....