Script, long time coming.....

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Bodysnatcher
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Script, long time coming.....

Post by Bodysnatcher »

Hi, I wonder if anyone can comment on the following inital draft fo ra project I have decide to undertake? I realise it may not be much to go on but any comments good OR bad will be gratefully appreciated.



“Gideon Bane: Book of Shadowsâ€
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Mr.Anderson
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RE: Script, long time coming.....

Post by Mr.Anderson »

Is that all? Is that the end? I hope not, but well, yeah, I liked it. It had a strong atmosphere to it. And if that is the end, i'd say it has a perfect atmosphere for a short film, just giving a small glimpse into this mans life, it lets the viewer almost create the character. The only thing i could suggest changing would be re-wording some of "Ronnie's" dialogue. I just thought a few things weren't exactly something i'd hear coming out of 12 year olds mouth. But other than that, interesting start. Love to see more.
"People can misinterpret almost anything so that it coincides with views they already hold. They take from art what they already believe."

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RE: Script, long time coming.....

Post by Bodysnatcher »

I knoew what you mean about Ronnie, I was thinking more and more that he was sounding like somthing from Oliver ,(which I DONT want!). the dialogue has changed already, I was in the my local last night with a copy of the script and a pen! and as for length, I am looking between 30 - 50 minutes so this was just the initial idea for the start, then the rest of the film leads up to this point, so the by the end Bane is in the mountains etc.
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RE: Script, long time coming.....

Post by James »

Interesting, but pretty ambitious. The location especially would be a hell of a challenge.
Can you tell me where to find a copy ofthat short story? I'm not familiar with the author.
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RE: Script, long time coming.....

Post by Bodysnatcher »

It was one of mine, I wrote it '98 in response to a local short story competition, I always wondered what it would have been like as a short but the one thing that stopped me more than anything was finding 'Banes Theme' ! You are right with the ambition bit but I was thinking of using some stock footage, with close shots for the remaining footage, and ? G/Screen. this is the only scene that is set in this environment but a lot will ddepend on how close to the origional I want to stick. the other thought was instead of starting as above, duringing the titles, show in short cuts, the pre history of Bane and what happened to him thereby launcing straight into the film?
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RE: Script, long time coming.....

Post by Mr.Anderson »

A mountain location wouldnt be too hard, i dunno, maybe im just thinking about where I live. To me, it seems "snowy mountains" would be a hard location to setup, or to depend on happening. But about Bane, is he supposed to be a government hitman? It would be cool to see his past hits. I'm definitely wanting to see anymore of the script as it comes along, im very interested.
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RE: Script, long time coming.....

Post by Bodysnatcher »

Unforunately the story and plot are a little complicated, if you want I can Email you current thoughts and ideas etc?
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RE: Script, long time coming.....

Post by windog »

scripts, the necessary evil....
<a href="http://alexmassey.voice123.com">Alex Massey - voice over</a>

I will try to beat any other voice over quote!
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RE: Script, long time coming.....

Post by Bodysnatcher »

lol! you are so right windog, I have made input onto everything as it happens, the script has been 'rethought' in terms of practicality, a storyboard is underwya, I have an A4 binder filled with random thoughts as well as the original short story that is proving to be even harder to translate to the screen than I first thought! good job I have time on my side an no actors to deal with. At this rate every thing will be in place soon. got locations and props underway.
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RE: Script, long time coming.....

Post by James »

Please do fire off the story, ideally as Rich Text but I can view most formats with my software. It sounds brilliant.
Speaking of which, how did you find what I sent you the other day?
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