a script of mine

[theChad]

Beyond the Shadow is the first part of a few shorts I'm going to try and do next summer. it is a pdf because I can never get my mind around reading a script in a messageboard window. lemme know what you think.

It's a heavy narrative just to warn everyone.

[theChad]

I can't be that bad... can it?

[ChemicalShamanII]

Firstly thanks for going to the effort of putting the script into pdf format. So much nicer and easier to read then just text pasted into the body of a post.

Secondly, great script. I read the whole thing without getting bored for even a moment. The dialogue is fantastic, the story is good (although a little cliche) overall a really great piece of work.

I like the way the character expresses emotions and events so artistically, descriptively and creatively. You have some excellent skills as a writer.

The script needs to be cleaned up a little bit, a few spelling mistkaes, typo's, grammatical errors etc but these things aren't that important. The important thing is that the story is presented really really well.

Excellent script formatting, I assume you used Final Draft for the formatting? Such an awesome program, certainly makes script writing a whole lot easier.

Give the script a couple of proof reads and clean up the few errors, secretary is spelt incorrectly for example and it's not 100% clear what BEAT means. You've put it in their twice but im not entirely sure of the context in which it's supposed to be interpreted and this is something that's important with scripts. They need to be universally clear so that everybody that reads them understands exactly what they are about.

These are only minor details though really, on the whole that's quite a talent you've got there and this certainly seems like a more than appropriate creative outlet for you.

CS

[theChad]

Thanks for the feedback, it is ironic that I love writing, but have no real grasp on spelling isn't.
And beat is a pretty commonnly used term in script writing. It means a pause in action.

[NoRemorse]

Nice work, i think u could make a nice writer, keep it up, i really wanna see this film. (also thanks for the pdf format)

[GrizzlyAdams]

Excellent Script! Story is great! Reminds me of Max Payne especially, probably because of the film noirs. Please start this film as soon as possible.

Grizzly

[theChad]

haha I want to start it, but it is fall and there are no leaves on the trees...and I need summer. I'm going through it with a fine tooth comb, maybe doing some lighting tests this winter whenever I can get my actor and a camera.

I forgot to mention I wrote this one especially for this forum. That is to say, this forum inspired me to open final draft and start writing again after like a year.

[UnkindSky]

Very good, loved it. Need to start usin the Final Page thing myself

Chris Kidd
BBW Productions