Need opinions on a script
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Need opinions on a script
I'm working on the final stages of a script to film next semester, and i don't know I have mixed feelings about it, and can't seem to pin down what is making me feel weird about it, prehaps you guys can help, and ideas or opinions would be nice. This is for startes a comday not an action flick, and as a word of warning if you oposed to strong laguage and the like I wouldn't read it. http://www.foxwoodent.com/movies/script ... 20site.pdf
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http://68.57.123.32/movies/scripts/at%2 ... 20site.pdf try that, i just found out that the surver is down in a capasity, my bad, nodody was home to tell me earlyer today.
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I read the whole thing... I didn't find that much of it funny, seems more like a love drama. His quote at the top of the stairwell is great!
I would try to think of more humor to be involved in it. For example, you could have a scene where Ryan is talking to Jack, and Jack is talking about his relationship with Mary, however Ryan thinks he is talking about Halo, and it goes on. Just an idea, I would just keep trying things. I like it. A little crude humored, but still a good story to work with.
How did you formulate the characters' names?
I would try to think of more humor to be involved in it. For example, you could have a scene where Ryan is talking to Jack, and Jack is talking about his relationship with Mary, however Ryan thinks he is talking about Halo, and it goes on. Just an idea, I would just keep trying things. I like it. A little crude humored, but still a good story to work with.
How did you formulate the characters' names?