Comedy Script"HOW TO BUY INSURANCE"

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Comedy Script"HOW TO BUY INSURANCE"

Post by F.F.F. » Fri Jun 01, 2007 5:14 am

Here's a comedy short comedy I wrote.

NOTE- It may not be obvious in the script, but it is on film. In the beginning of the scene, fillmore begins to exit so many times because he is an idiot and thinks that Jeffrey is telling him to, when he is really talking to the person on the phone.

INT. Insurance office- Day

FILLMORE enters insurance office. JEFFREY's phone rings, at his desk.

JEFFREY
(Answering phone)
Hello?

FILLMORE enters.

FILLMORE
Hello, I'd like to buy some insurance-

JEFFREY
Hush!
(to phone)
No, you can speak.

FILLMORE
Hello, I'd like to buy some insurance-

JEFFREY
Please! Shut up!
(to phone)
I wasn't talking to you, please continue.

FILLMORE
Hello, I'd like to buy some insurance-

JEFFREY
Please!
(to phone)
Look, I'm gonna have to call you back. Yeah, I'll talk to you later. Bye.

FILLMORE
Goodbye.
(starts for the door)

JEFFREY
I wasn't talking to you! I'm still talking to you!

JEFFREY turns around and starts to walk towards his chair.

JEFFREY
(to phone)
No, I'll have to talk to you later, I already said that!

FILLMORE heads for the door again.

JEFFREY
You! stay here!
FILLMORE heads towards his chair.

JEFFREY
(to phone)
Yes, goodbye.
(hangs up phone)

FILLMORE begins to leave again.

JEFFREY
You!! STAY HERE!!

FILLMORE returns to his chair.

FILLMORE
Hello, I'd like to by some insurance.

JEFFREY
(flustered)
Certainly. What kind?

FILLMORE
What kind do you sell?

JEFFREY
Well, we sell many different plans tailored to fit your needs.

FILLMORE
One of those will do.

JEFFREY
One of whats?

FILLMORE
One of those plans.

Jeffrey
Which type? Home, life, health, auto...

FILLMORE
Yeah.

JEFFREY
Excuse me?


FILLMORE
Yeah.


JEFFREY
What kind?

FILLMORE
Uh...which types do you sell?

JEFFREY
(angry)
How about auto insurance?

FILLMORE
What a coincidence, thats what I came here to buy.

JEFFREY
Okay, if you could just answer a few questions for me.

FILLMORE
Shoot.

JEFFREY
Have you ever been sick?

FILLMORE
Yes.

JEFFREY
Do you currently own a car?

FILLMORE
Yes.

JEFFREY
Are you or have you ever been, a girl?

FILLMORE
Yes...I mean-no!

JEFFREY
Okay, If you'll just sign here.

FILLMORE signs paper.

JEFFREY
And, we're done. Have a nice day.

FILLMORE and JEFFREY shake hands, FILLMORE leaves. JEFFREY's phone rings.

JEFFREY
(to phone)
Hello?

FILLMORE enters, again.

FILLMORE
Hello, I'd like to buy some insurance.

CUT TO BLACK

THE END

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RE: Comedy Script"HOW TO BUY INSURANCE"

Post by ctbullet » Fri Jun 01, 2007 8:14 pm

that was awesome

real original, i chuckeled all the way through, i want to film it!
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Re: RE: Comedy Script"HOW TO BUY INSURANCE"

Post by F.F.F. » Fri Jun 01, 2007 8:39 pm

ctbullet wrote:that was awesome

real original, i chuckeled all the way through, i want to film it!
Thanks. If you really want to. I'd give you the rights to film it.

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RE: Re: RE: Comedy Script"HOW TO BUY INSURANCE"

Post by ctbullet » Fri Jun 01, 2007 8:52 pm

ooo i'm intrigued and scared at the same time

i wouldn't mind filming something written by you that everyone on this forum hasn't read yet, to be cheeky
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Re: RE: Re: RE: Comedy Script"HOW TO BUY INSURANCE"

Post by F.F.F. » Fri Jun 01, 2007 8:59 pm

ctbullet wrote:ooo i'm intrigued and scared at the same time

i wouldn't mind filming something written by you that everyone on this forum hasn't read yet, to be cheeky
I've got some more comedy scripts, if you'd like to read them.

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RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Comedy Script"HOW TO BUY INSURANCE&

Post by ctbullet » Fri Jun 01, 2007 9:04 pm

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RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Comedy Script"HOW TO BUY INSURANCE&

Post by F.F.F. » Fri Jun 01, 2007 11:14 pm

Does anyone want to produce this script?

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RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Comedy Script"HOW TO BUY INSURANCE&

Post by Nba185 » Sat Jun 02, 2007 1:25 am

sweet. hahhaa.
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RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Comedy Script"HOW TO BUY INSURANCE&

Post by Zac » Sat Jun 02, 2007 1:27 am

looks like a really easy non-demanding script. ive been trying for the last week to come up with a comedy short, but my mind just goes blank.
this ones a really fast paced, short, enjoyable one. but like ctbullet, it just wouldnt feel right, and then if i make a cr** one, itll seem like its partly your fault too.
id be interested in seeing some of your other comedies just for the sake of reading them. good job.
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RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Comedy Script"HOW TO BUY INSURANCE&

Post by Zac » Sat Jun 02, 2007 3:40 am

an idea would be to have a sorta competition and everyone has 1 or 2 weeks to make a movie of a certain short, simple script, like that one. and then we all vote on whos is the best. just an idea.
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Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Comedy Script"HOW TO BUY INSURA

Post by F.F.F. » Sat Jun 02, 2007 4:04 am

Zac wrote:an idea would be to have a sorta competition and everyone has 1 or 2 weeks to make a movie of a certain short, simple script, like that one. and then we all vote on whos is the best. just an idea.
I like that idea alot!

How about we write a really short, loose script, and people can make it any genre they want, and we submit it to be judged by... anyone?

I think a moderator should hear this.

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RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Comedy Script"HOW TO BUY IN

Post by Nba185 » Sat Jun 02, 2007 5:23 am

something like on the lot?
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RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Comedy Script"HOW TO BUY IN

Post by F.F.F. » Sat Jun 02, 2007 5:32 am

Yeah, but better. And something in which anyone can participate easily.

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Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Comedy Script"HOW TO BUY INSURA

Post by Zac » Sat Jun 02, 2007 8:25 am

F.F.F. wrote: How about we write a really short, loose script, and people can make it any genre they want, and we submit it to be judged by... anyone?

I think a moderator should hear this.
i dont think theres anything stopping you making a good short script, or post another of your comedies.
do you mind sending your other comedies to my email (stated above) id love to read them.
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RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Comedy Script"HOW TO BUY IN

Post by Zacatac927 » Sat Jun 02, 2007 1:07 pm

i like it.. it i had a nice office to shoot it i would... but yeah if you want to send me any scripts you got... with rights too them... (just use rights, so im not the only one that can shoot it) i'd be willing to shoot some of it..
zaccrosby@yahoo.com

ill talk to my group though, about the script... id love to shoot it...

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RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Comedy Script"HOW TO BUY IN

Post by angusware » Sun Jun 17, 2007 11:31 am

i hate to go against the group but it was lame. people aren't that stupid.


nor am I.

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RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Comedy Script"HOW TO BUY IN

Post by Zac » Sun Jun 17, 2007 12:39 pm

no, of course not. especially not you, oh no. really. because you have got a perfectly reasonable argument going there, i mean, what the hell was he thinking. putting someone that stupid in a script. whats next? talking green ogres? a yellow-skinned family? giant robots that morph, or dare i say transform into other forms? or maybe some nerd that gets bitten by a radio-active spider and somehow ends up obtaining an emo life-style?
does the filming industry know no mercy?
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RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Comedy Script"HOW TO BUY IN

Post by angusware » Mon Jun 18, 2007 12:08 am

Er...what? Comedy doesn't have to be a stupid pantomime.

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RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Comedy Script"HOW TO BUY IN

Post by youngfilmmaker » Mon Jun 18, 2007 5:45 pm

send me some stuff...

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Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Comedy Script"HOW TO BU

Post by F.F.F. » Sun Jun 24, 2007 11:18 pm

Zac wrote:no, of course not. especially not you, oh no. really. because you have got a perfectly reasonable argument going there, i mean, what the hell was he thinking. putting someone that stupid in a script. whats next? talking green ogres? a yellow-skinned family? giant robots that morph, or dare i say transform into other forms? or maybe some nerd that gets bitten by a radio-active spider and somehow ends up obtaining an emo life-style?
does the filming industry know no mercy?
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RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Comedy Script"HOW T

Post by angusware » Sun Jul 29, 2007 3:22 am

oh wait, are they cr** films. why yes, maybe they are! well I guess they are stupid, maybe that's why they don't get any awards, or any claim to fame other than being a pathetic money making success?
Why is it that the films that are different and are critically acclaimed are the ones like Little Miss Sunshine or films about real events, like Glory?

because they aren't stupid.

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RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Comedy Script"HOW T

Post by Zac » Sun Jul 29, 2007 10:13 am

you just didnt get that joke at all did you?
i was saying that its a friggin' movie. you cant say that no-one is that stupid and so therefore you cant have it in a movie.
movies can have wat ever the f*ck you want in them. and comedy basically revolves around stupid people.
i guess that makes you a comedian.
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RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Comedy Script"HOW T

Post by rhys » Sun Jul 29, 2007 11:53 am

Why is it that the films that are different and are critically acclaimed are the ones like Little Miss Sunshine or films about real events, like Glory?

because they aren't stupid.
Sure, if your a guy who likes to nibble on their own cockatoo.
no, of course not. especially not you, oh no. really. because you have got a perfectly reasonable argument going there, i mean, what the hell was he thinking. putting someone that stupid in a script. whats next? talking green ogres? a yellow-skinned family? giant robots that morph, or dare i say transform into other forms? or maybe some nerd that gets bitten by a radio-active spider and somehow ends up obtaining an emo life-style?
does the filming industry know no mercy?
LMAO! True! Them movies are the best... sept spider man... he has no crutch... look for yourselves!
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Post by Lawriejaffa » Sun Jul 29, 2007 1:19 pm

Honestly i think the script is slightly amusing, but anyone over 18 would never remotely imagine it to be original. It is a pantomine - the very nature of pantomine comedy - the type of comedy that is the easiest to write - the most pumped out imaginable. The film is also more akin to a sketch - with its singular set up and single gag.

So it's cute, perhaps as a sketch - the humour is 'strained' though, we are forced to accept the sheer stupidity of the character for it's humour to work. Pantomine gets away with this through ridiculous sounds and costumes ;)

It's not so much whether the comedy works or not in this script thats important, its more that - even if it does work - its no great achievement. Because panto is easy to write (its normally for kids.)

I would suggest looking beyond the single ironic / comic moment and see ways that it can have some depth or meaning - the best comedy can double as the most sophisticated philosophy.

Check out the slapstick (almost pantominic) yet highly relavant play 'Accidental Death of an Anarchist'

Or anything by Oskar Wilde!

So ya need more than a setup and a gag - you should have some depth, some characterisation, and a point - otherwise its just a panto sketch *shrugs*

I helped a friend of mine a few months (appearing as a teacher) in a film he made that was a comedy - technically weak in production but his script was funny! A good example of how you can have slapstick and visual gags with a wee bit more intelligent dialgoue. (don't ask about the aspect ratio i didnt upload it!)

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=uHwkTnuUDpk

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Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Comedy Script"H

Post by film fanatic » Sun Jul 29, 2007 11:55 pm

LMAO! True! Them movies are the best... sept spider man... he has no crutch... look for yourselves!
Because these things matter the most in movies, don't they?
rhys wrote:
Why is it that the films that are different and are critically acclaimed are the ones like Little Miss Sunshine or films about real events, like Glory?

because they aren't stupid.
Sure, if your a guy who likes to nibble on their own cockatoo.
Well I guess I'll just keep on nibbling, then :D

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